Homer: Aw nuts. Helloooooo! China!?.... Little help? Bart: Hey Lis', check it out, Pogo Stilts. These were banned in all 50 states [they fly off his feet and hit Homer] Homer: Oooow!! Ow! What happened!? John: Hi, I'm John, can I help you with anything. Marge: Yes, I have something that I'd like to sell. John: Please tell me it's your hair. John: Aaaah, that'll make your bowl run. Homer: Maybe that thing is a hunk-of-junk, but look at what you're selling. Fifty bucks for a toy!? No kid is worth that! John: Oh, but this is the Rex Mars Atomic Discombobulator. Don't you just love the graphics on this box? Homer: No..... how can you love a box or a toy or graphics? You're a grown man. John: Well if you're inviting me over..? Homer: I practically insist. Shall we say 5:00, the snacking hour? John: My heart is palpetating.. whoo hooooo. John: Ding, Dong. Classic. I mean, that says it all doesn't it? John: Ooooh... And pearls on a little girl.. it's a fairy tale! Lisa: [makes a nervous noise] John: Oh, I've got the exact same curtains only in my bathroom. Didn't you just die when you found these? Marge: Not really... they just had corn on them...Kitchen.. Corn. Marge: Didn't John seem a little...festive to you? Homer: Couldn't agree more, happy as a clam. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Homer: Who doesn't! Marge: Homer... listen carefully. John is a Ho-mo Homer: ..Right... Marge: Sexual! [homer screams] Homer: Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod! Oh my god, I danced with a gay! Marge, Lisa, promise me you wont tell anyone! Proomiiise Meeee! Smithers: John! John: Uuuh... Wayland. Uuuh. I'd like you to meet The Simpsons! Smithers: I know the Simpsons. <mumbling> So this is your sick mother? John: Don't do this to me Wayland... Homer: Bart! Where did you get that shirt? Bart: I'unno... Came outta the closet. Homer: Uuuuuh....huh. Homer: Well, it's been two hours, how do you feel. Bart: I dunno... I kinda wanna cigarette. Homer: That's a good start, lets get you a pack. What's your brand? Bart: Anything slim! Rosco: I want all of you to say hello to the Simpsons. Steel Industry: Halloooooww! Homer: Has the whole world gone insane? Guy: Stand still, there's a spark in your hair! Guy #2: Get it, get it! Guy #3: Hot stuff, comin through! Homer: You're all sick! Guy: Oh, be nice! Homer: Oh! My son doesn't stand a chance! The whole world's gone gay! <siren sounds> Oh my god what's happening now!? Rosco: We work hard, we play hard.
(Everybody dance now starts playing, while Homer exits, sighing) Bart: Something bout a bunch of guys, alone, together in the woods. Seems kinda gay. Homer: That is a very immature attitude young man! Marge: Hmmm. You feel softer than before... Homer: I've been tenderized!
