Homer: Pff. That Sideshow Mel thinks he's so big. Whatever happened to Sideshow Bob? Lisa: Don't you remember dad? He framed Krusty. He tried to kill Aunt Selma. He rigged an election. Bart: And he tried to murder me! Homer: Oh yeah. But what I'll mainly remember is the laughter. Bart: I wanna see some birds get sucked into the engines. Rare ones! Marge: This year I'm making ear plugs out of biscuit dough. *ping*. They're ready! Bart: Way to guard the parking lot, top gun! Pimple Faced Kid: I have three medals for this! Air Force Guy: And although it looks complicated it is so well designed even a child could fly it! Lisa: Can I fly it? Air Force Guy: Of course you can not. Milhouse: [bullet noises] Take that mom! [bullet noises] Take that dad! Send me to a psychiatrist will you? [bullet noises] Take that Dr. Sally Wexler! [pushes button that ejects seat...... *CRASH*] Leslie Hapablap: I'm gonna come in there and corpse you up. Corpse you up and mail you to mamma! [*smash*] Uh.. where did he go? Aw. Got my knuckles all lined up for nothing! Homer: They didn't have any aspirin so I got you some cigarettes. Marge: Nyeeeh. Maybe my headache will go away once the show starts. Guy: Say... did somebody say "box kites"? Bart: NO! Audience: Awww Nooo! Martin: The common box kite was originally used as a means of drying wet string! Sideshow Bob: Oh and one more thing.. I've stolen a nuclear weapon. If you do not raid this city of television within two hours.. I will detonate it! Farewell! Crowd: *screams of panic*
Sideshow Bob: By the way, I'm aware of the irony of appearing on TV in order to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out! Marge: Kids, everythings gonna be okay, don't panic, just don't panic. Lisa: Mom! MOM! You're stepping on my heels and knocking my shoes off! Marge: We could always get more shoes. Move! Move! Lisa: When Bob broadcast that message, his voice was higher than normal. And what makes your voice high? Bart: Tight, binding underwear? Lisa: Helium!
