Homer: :Homer screams and panics, loudly: Smithers: Boy, I've never seen a man so desparate to get out of five minutes of calisthenics! Lenny: Yeah, every muscle in my body is getting a workout, especially my big fat mouth! Homer: Yeah! Especially your big fat... oh wait. Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, doctor? Dr. Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon. Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes! Dr. Nick: Hey... did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, too? Homer: I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. Gas, brake, honk. Gas, brake, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas gas! Homer: To start press any key. Well where's the "any" key? I see Esc, Ctarl (ctrl), and PigUp (pgup). There doesn't seem to be any any key! Phew. All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a Tab. Oop! No time for that now, the computer's starting. Homer: :singing chirpily: Bart and Lisa have to go to school well I get to stay home, na na na na naaa na! Lisa: I like school. Homer: Well why don't you live in it, then? Lisa: I would if I could. Bart: [daydreaming] I wash myself with a rag on a stick! Marge: That's it, thats the one, alright, send him on in. Lisa: Dad... Homer: Yes, honey? Lisa: Uh..mm... mom just baked a cake... Homer: [runs to kitchen] Huh? Marge: Homer, we need to have a serious chat. Homer: You dragged me all the way from work for that! Homer: The mail! The mail is here... oooh!
[ this sound is perfect for your 'new mail notification' ] Lisa: Dad, what are you doing down there? Homer: Washing my fat guy hat, honey! Man: I'm sorry sir, but our facilities are not equipped to suit your needs. Homer: What are you talking about? Man: Oh what I'm saying sir is that a man of your... carriage wouldn't possibly fit in our seats. Homer: I could sit in the aisle! Man: I'm afraid that would violate the fire code. Guy: Hey fatty! I've got a movie for you! A Fridge Too Far! Homer: I've gotta call the plant and warn them! :pushes buttons on phone: Phone Announcer: The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with the palm of your hand.. now. Ralph: I heard your dad went into a restaraunt and ate everything in the restaraunt and they had to close the restaraunt! Lisa: Hey, my dad may have gained a little weight, but he's not some food crazed maniac! Homer: [drives past in Ice Cream Truck, sampling the ice creams] Oh that's Raspberry! Bart: I think it's ironic that for once dad's butt prevented the release of toxic gas!
