Bart: G'morning Marge: Bart, it's class photo day, no Dracula fangs! Bart: Vut zey told uz to wear em! Marge: No they didn't..... huh!? *reads sign 'i'm a stupid baby' on Lisa* And don't put signs on your sister. Lisa: Mom, you fuss over us way to much! Marge: Enjoy it now, because when you're a grown up you'll have to take care of yourself! Homer: *scared* Maarge. There's a spider near my car keys. Marge: You did the right thing by telling me. Shoo! Get out of here. Homer: Ah, that's better! Homer: What advantages does this motor car have over say.. a train. Which I could also afford. Rich Guy: Well, you'll notice how the heated gas pedal warms your feet, and the... *homer drives off.... comes back* massages your buttocks. Well homer, shall we discuss the.. Homer: No we shant.... yoink! Homer: I got my dad to look after her! Abe: BEHIND YA! Marge: Nyeeh! DON'T DO THAT! Abe: I..ja..pff. Don't do that! Edna: Nelson, you look adorable. Nelson: I feel like punching myself! Edna: Bart, stop scratching, you're messing up your hair!.... AAH! Lice! How on earth does a boy get headlice in this day and age?
*Flashback* Milhouse: We bought a wicker basket from Peer One and he was passed out inside.
*End flashback* Bart: Hey, how come I get lice and nothing happens to Milhouse? Milhouse: So cold... so very, very cold! Lisa: Printhipal Thkinner, I need thome thoes! Skinner: Sweet Georgia Brown! Something is rotten at the Simpson house! Welfare Lady: Sink full of dirty dishes. Trash not taken out. Living room a mess, stacks of old newspapers... *gasp!* from 20 years ago! Welfare Man: A desheveled and malnourished man found sleeping in his own filth, seems confused and dehydrated. Welfare Lady: Where's the baby!? Abe: That's her aint it? *points to Maggie drinking from dog dish*. Kids love that water! Welfare Lady: *spots the "I'm a stupid baby" sign on Maggie from earlier in the episode* Oh my lord! Welfare Man: Stupid babies need the most attention! Lisa: You don't understand, mom and dad take good care of us *tooth falls out*. That was a baby tooth!...... It was loose! Abe: Oh bitch, bitch, bitch! Ned: Hey kids! Nachos, Flanders style! That's cucumber's with cottage cheese! Homer: I've gotta call them! *Dials* Recorded Message: The number you have dialed can no longer be reached from this phone... you.. neglegent... monster. Marge/Homer: *Doorbell Rings* THAT'S BART'S RING! *they run downstairs, and pick up a newspaper* Homer: *reading* Todd Smells... oh, I already knew that! Welfare Guy: And you've all passed the drug test. Except for Marge. Marge, you tested positive for crack and PCP. Marge: Oh my!
*time passes* Welfare Guy: Okay, the retest says you're clean. Sorry about the mistake. Marge: The only thing I'm high on is love. Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need. Bart: Haha! You're gonna be Lisa Flanders! Lisa: You're gonna be Bart Flanders. Bart: AAAAH! Bart: Wow, dad. You took a baptisimal for me. How do you feel? Homer: Oh, Bartholomew. I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan. Flanders: Wait, Homer. What did you just say? Homer: I said shut your ugly face, Flanders!
