Guy: Well sir it's been an uneventfull week in Badger falls. Where the men are robust, the women are pink cheeked, and the children are pink cheeked and robust.
*everybody laughs* Homer: What the hell's so funny? Guy: At the Apple Biscuit Cafe, where the smiles are free, don't cha know... Speninquest studied the menu, and finally ordered the same thing he has every day. Bart: Maybe it's the TV Homer: Stupid TV, Be more funny! Troy McClure: What the hell!? Oh, we got a call! Homer: Hehe! Some idiot actually called in! Troy McClure: Hello, what's your name? Marge: Marge Simpson Homer: AAH! Marge: I'd like to pledge thirty dollars. Oh, thankyou. Homer: [daydreams about what he thinks ballet is (bear in cart at circus) and sings the circus tune... the daydream ends but he's still singing] Homer: Where are you going? Marge: I don't know. Homer: When will you be home? Marge: I'm not sure. Homer: Where are you going? Marge: You already asked me that! Homer: Will you bring me back something? Bart: Don't worry, you'll feel better once we put your hair up in curlers and give you a makeover, Homina. Homer: Ooh that would be delightfu.... Quiet boy! Homer: We pay 8 dollars for the night and you can take 2 popsicles outta the freezer. Lionel Hutz: Three.. Homer: Two.. Lionel Hutz: Okay, two and I get to keep this old birdcage! Homer: Done! Marge: Homer, stop that, it's just a weather station! Homer: Come on Marge, it's fun to smash things! Wiggum: [sings sunshine and lollipops] Wiggum: Oh my god, it just disappeared! <gasp> It's a GHOST CAR! <slams on brakes> There are ghost cars all over these highways you know! Homer: Hold me! Wiggum: Only if you hold me! Lady: I hate it when the waffles stick together. Guy: Stick together is what good waffles do! Wiggum: Oh, I'm uh.. on a road, uh.. looks to be asphelt. Um, ah geez, trees, shrubs um.... I'm directly under the earths sun... nnnow! Crime Report: [The crime report at the end of the episode]
