Abe: Movies! What a rip-off! I don't have to stand here and take this.
I... [zzzzzzz]. Marge: We'll bring back dinner. Lisa: What are we gonna have? Homer: Well, that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see... poison. Lisa: What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad? Bart: Poison pizza. Homer: Oh, no! I'm not making two stops!
Ms. Hoover: You must have read to her at a young age. Homer: I did! I did read to her! :flashback: 8:00, Happy Days. The Fonz, Henry Winkler, is worried he's losing his cool. Homer: Are you kidding? Lisa turned out perfect! I wont sit here and listen to you badmouthing Lisa! Marge: We're talking about Bart. Homer: Oh. That guy. Bart: Boy, time really flies when you're reading... The Bible!? Eeew! Homer: If you don't start making more sense, we're going to have to put you in a home. Grampa: You already put me in a home. Homer: Then we'll put you in the crooked home we saw on Sixty Minutes! Grampa: I'll be good.
Homer: Young man, since you broke Grampa's teeth, he gets to break yours. Homer: I said I'm gonna punish you and come hell or high water I.. wait a minute. Ice cream truck! Me, me, I was here first! Kent: Tonight on `Eye on Springfield', we meet a man who's been hiccupping for 45 years! Man: [hic!] Kill me! [hic] Kill me! Wiggum: Aw isn't that cute, a baby driving a car. Oh look there's a dog driving a bus! Lisa: How would you like it if someone told you that you couldnt watch the moon landing? Homer: :flashback: Yummy yummy yummy I've got love in my tummy and I feel like loving you.. :flashback ends: Love is such a sweet thing good enough to eat-- Sorry but the punishment stands. Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son. Bart: Not bloody likely. Homer: No it's true, You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage. Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story? Homer: I like stories. Homer: You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV. Bart: TV Sucks. Homer: I know you're upset right now so I'll pretend you didn't say that! Lisa: You wouldn't believe the celebrities who did cameos! Dustin Hoffman, Michael Jackson. Of course, they didn't use their real names, but you could tell it was them.
