Homer: There's nothing wrong with crab grass. It just has a bad name, that's all. Everyone would love it if it had a cute name like "Elf grass" Ned: This your first visit to the Flanders homestead, eh? Homer: What, we've only been neighbors for..... eight years.
Homer: You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got there! Your family is better than my family, your beer comes from further away than my beer, you and your son like each other, your wife's butt is higher than my wife's butt, you make me sick! Ned: Simpson! I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave! I hope you understand! Homer: I wouldn't stay on a bet! :gulps beer, takes club sandwich: One for the road. Homer: He said, that... he said ... well it wasn't so much what he said, it was how he said it. Marge: Well how did he say it? Homer: Well, he.. Marge: Was he angry? Homer: No. Marge: Was he rude? Homer: Okay, it wasn't how he said it either. But the message was loud and clear. Our family stinks! Ned: Hello, Reverend Lovejoy? Helen: No, this is Mrs. Lovejoy. Just a minute. Honey, honey wake up. It sounds as if Ned Flanders is having some sort of crisis. Reverend: Probably stepped on a worm. Homer: You are my brother. Ahahaha. I love you. Ahahehehehe. And yet, I feel a great sadness.... in my bosom! Bart: Bart: 41. Homer: lets see... 6 plus 6 plus 6 plus 6 plus 6.. Homer: Never mind! Homer: That putter is to you what a bat is to a baseball player; what a violin is to a... the guy, the violin guy! Homer: Give your putter a name Bart: What? Homer: Come on, give it a name! Bart: Mr. Putter. Homer: You wanna try a little harder, son!? Come on, give it a girls name. Bart: Mom. Homer: Your putter's name is Sharlene! Bart: Why? Homer: It just is, that's why. Homer: Todd Flanders; every day I want you to spend fifteen minutes staring at it and concentrating on how much you hate him, and how glorious it will be when you and Sharlene annihilate him! Bart: Who's Sharlene? Homer: I'll show you who Sharlene is! Now start hating! Lisa: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind. Bart: Okay. Lisa: Embrace nothingness. Bart: You got it. Lisa: Become like an uncarved stone. Bart: Done. Lisa: Bart! You're just pretending to know what I'm talking about! Bart: True. Lisa: Well it's very frustrating! Bart: I'll bet. Homer: All I'm asking is that you'll try.
Bart: Okay I'll try. Homer: Anyone can try! I want you to win! Homer: Hey, Flanders, there's no use praying, I already did the same thing and we can't both win. Ned: Actually, SimpSON, we were praying that no-one gets hurt! Homer: Oh, well, FlanDERS, it doesn't matter. This time tomorrow you'll be wearing high heels. Ned: Nope, you will. Homer: 'Fraid not. Ned: 'Fraid so. Homer: 'Fraid not. Ned: 'Fraid so! Homer: 'Fraid not, infinity! Ned: 'Fraid so, infinity, plus one! Homer: D'oh! Homer: Come on, Bart. Remember what Vince Lombardi said. If you lose, you're out of the family!
