Bart: Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book was Treasure Island. It's about these pirates. Pirates with patches over their eyes. And shiny gold teeth! And green birds on their shoulders! Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGrath Hill. Edna: Did you read the book? Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted. Is this a book report, or a witch hunt. Edna: Then perhaps you'd like to tell us the name of the pirate. Bart's Brain: Blackbeard, Captain Hook, Captain Nemo, Long John Silver, Bluebeard. Bart: Bluebeard? Edna: Sit down Bart, I'll see you after class.
Edna: Your grades have gotten steadily worse since the beginning of term. Are you aware of that? Bart: Yes ma'am. Edna: Are you aware there is a major exam tomorrow on Coloniel America? Bart: Yes ma'am. Edna: Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah? Bart: Yes ma'am. Edna: Blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah! Bart: Yes ma'am. Edna: Bart, you haven't being paying attention to a word I said, have you? Bart: Yes ma'am. Otto: Hey, Bart dude! Woah, you look freaked! Bart: Hey Otto man, I've got a big test today that I'm not ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something? Otto: Oh, sorry little buddy. Can't do it on purpose. But hey, maybe you'll get lucky! Bart: Good morning, Girls. Sherri/Terri: Good morning, Bart! Bart: Say, who's up for a little cram session. I'll go first. What was the name of the Pilgrims boat? Sherri: The Spirit Of St. Louis Bart: And why'd they leave England? Terri: Giant rats! Bart: Cool! History's coming alive. Psychologist: One of his problems may be his short attention span which can lead to... blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah. Homer: Uh huh. Psychologist: Blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah. Homer: Uh-huh. Bart: No, I mean it. You can't hold me back! I swear I'm gonna do better. Look at my eyes. See the sincerity. See the conviction? See the fear? As god as my witness, I will pass the fourth grade! Homer: And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids. Edna: Alright class, the topic is World Literature. What was the pirate's name in Treasure Island? Bart Simpson. Bart: Look lady, I got a peptic ulser, a wife hawkin' me for a new car, and I need a root canal. Will you quit bugging me about the stupid pirate? Bart Jr: Psst. Long John Silver, dad! Edna: I heard that Bart Jr! I want to see both of you after class today. Bart: Thanks a lot, son! Martin: I'd always considered myself quite popular. Bart: You're not. Watch. :pushes Martin over, other kids laugh: Martin: But my speed with numbers? My years of service as a hall monitor? My prize-winning dioramas? These things mean nothing to them? Bart: Perhaps another demonstration. :pushes Martin over, other kids laugh: Homer: Hehehe, got you Burnsie! Burns: Why you young ragamuffin, I was never one to back away from a snowball fight. Smithers, you may fire at will. Smithers: Certainly, sir! Bart: I passed! I got a D minus. I passed! I passed, alright! :kisses Edna: I passed I passed I passed I passed, I got a D minus, I passed! I got a D minus, I passed! I got a D minus, I passed! I passed! I passed! I...... kissed the teacher. Pah! :spits:
