Marge: Hey, it's Krusty the Clown! Whaddya say, Krusty. Krusty: What, can't I get a cup of coffee without doing a monkey dance for you freaks. The fishing hat means leave me alone! Marge: Always nice to see him. Homer: Seems a shame to chuck out these cross country ski's. I'll keep one.
Homer: What? Spider poison is people poison!? Homer: Don't worry. If I croak you'll marry Lenny, or Moe. The winner will be determined by a card game I invented. I've got all the rules written down, up here. Insurance Woman: Have you ever had a heart attack. Homer: Haven't we all. Insurance Woman: Strokes? Homer: None, no wait, three! Since the last one I don't remember so good. Insurance Woman: Are you a smoker. Homer: Yes I am. Marge: You don't smoke! Homer: Shh, I want her to think I'm cool! Nelson: Haw haw, people died in those shirts.
Homer: It's my money I'm the one who earned it. Drinking beer out of a thermos like an animal! Homer: While you lounge around here doing laundry and putting up drywall, I'm at work busting my hump Marge: Oh please, from what I hear you waltz in there at 10:30, take a nap on the toilet, then sit around Googling your own name until lunch. Homer: Who told you that!? Marge: You shouted it while we were making love. Franklin: Give us our independence, Homer! Homer: Yes, president Franklin! Franklin: I uh, was never president. I invented some kind of stove. Homer: Well I invented a popsicle made of Mountain Dew. Marge: Did you spend our savings on a motor home!? Homer: No, I spent our savings on the downpayment for a motor home. Homer: While we deal with our issues, I plan to go on Motorhome Makeover and trick this thing out like a palace. Not like that dump you live in. All I need is for someone to make a show called Motorhome Makeover. Rod: Daddy all the fumes are making me dizzy. Ned: Now Roddy the lord wouldnt let us die this way. Jesus: That's right Ned. Now you three take a little nap while I make some hot chocolate. Marge: You're not perfect either. Homer: Name one way I'm not! Marge: You hide food in my hair. You think brushing your teeth is foreplay. I'll have you know I could have married Sideshow Mel. Bart: Boy theyre really going at it, do you think they're gonna get divorced. Lisa: No, I don't see dad doing all that paperwork. Homer: What. I seem to recall you asking me to get this fat! Lisa: Oh boy, lets get out of here before dad does a bad impression of Mom. Homer: Oooh, I'm Marge Simpson, don't eat off the floor! Hmmm!
Homer: Hey my RV is gone! It was more than a motorhome. It was a car I could go to the bathroom in!
Homer: Oh this is a parents worst nightmare. They've stolen a car and they're home alone! Wiggum: Would you look at those Simpson kids. Last year it was razor scooters, this year they're driving RV's. When I was a kid, my mom would give me an empty egg carton and I'd pretend it was a spaceship to the moon. You'd never guess what I used for astronauts. Lou: Uh, I'm gonna say eggs. Wiggum: ...shutup!
Captain: You are a wise woman, it's a shame you dress like a lebanese prostitute, return to the docks.
Marge: Which came first, Turkey the bird or Turkey the you guys? If you don't wanna say it, just think it.
