Lisa: It's a media circus. Homer: Woohoo, the circus! Lisa: A media circus. Homer: Woohoo! I don't know the difference. Marge: This is the most exciting scandal since the juice was on the loose. Lisa: The juice is still on the loose.
Kent: Channel Six News rocks! A car chase every night or the weather girl wears a tube top. And if she doesn't, you win a pizza! Homer: I've figured out a way we can get in on this Quimby lawsuit. Bart, go ahead. Bart: Mayor Quimby is my-er-uh, father. Give me one million dollas. Luigi: You insult me, you insult Italy. Which is shaped like a boot. Who knew? Homer: Oh Chloe. These kebabs you made are as good or better than anything I've ever had at this table. Marge: Homer! Homer: Oh Marge I'm just being polite.
Chloe: This is the dance the Chinese government makes dissidants do before they shoot them. I-yen-go. I-yen-go. I-yen-go. Homer: I-chunk-cho! I-chunk-cho! I-chunk-cho! I-chunk-cho! Marge: Homer what are you doing. Homer: I swallowed a chicken bone. I-chunk-cho! Marge: When we published the story, we received the school's highest award. Principal: Ladies it is my great pleasure to award you these certificates of merit. In this box marked honorary, write your names, and over here write in what you did. Barney: I love you Chloe. And I love you too, brake fluid! Lisa: Mom, Chloe just won the peabody award. Marge: Well I just made the bathroom floor smell like lemons. Where's the award for that. Homer: Good news Marge, I've learned to walk naked on stilts. Brodka: You want you mic back local anchor. Kent: This just in, I'm pissed off! Homer: I just hate to see you upset, honey. You know what would be a good name for Maggie. Chloe! Homer: Ladies, there's no need to fight over me. Marge: No-one's fighting over you. Homer: Oh well then carry on.
Man: I need you to get over to Mt. Springfield, it's about to erupt! Chloe: Don't we have a reporter who specializes in natural disasters. Man: Yeah he's busy covering Julia Roberts last haircut. But seriously he's dead, Now get going.
Marge: I don't see Lisa in any of the seminars. Homer: And I'm growing ashamed of my penis.
Homer: Look, I'll save Lisa, your place is here with the women. Women: BOOOO! Homer: Okay you go save Lisa, I'll stay here with the women. Women: BOOOO! Homer: What do women want!?
Wiggum: I'm sorry folks, you're not allowed to go up there. In fact, I don't even know why I'm here. This lava is not a criminal, it hasn't hurt anybody :a man screams in pain: Anybody I know!
Lisa: Mom, your hair! Marge: Don't worry, we've got two hours before it burns down to my head.
Chloe: Lisa what are you doing in there. Lisa: Praying to Buddah, Jesus, SpongeBob, there's no time to be picky! Buddah: Perhaps we should help? SpongeBob: Screw her :laughs like a jackass:
