Lisa: What? Can't we sit on the couch without something happening? Lisa: It doesn't seem fair to the regular visitors. Brandine: We drove 18 hours to come here. Cletus: On the plus side, this rope is mighty soft. Touch it kids.
Homer: Lighten up Marge, this is my chance to relax with people from work I never get to see. Like this guy. Guy: I'm your supervisor! Homer: Really? How am I doing? Bart: Lis, Mr. Burns is the sweetest kindest man I know. Lisa: How many men do you know. Bart: Basically him and dad. Moe: I bought this for my funeral. It aint got no back so don't make me turn around. Hey I'm paying for a silk lined coffin and dammit, i'm gonna feel it. Homer: Wow, A wooden plane. It's about time trees were good for something. Instead of just standing there like JERKS!
Burns: The employee prescription drug program is terminated. In these days of rising health care costs, bla bla, lip service, lip service, GET OUT! Lisa: This must be the nasty surprise he mentioned in the invitation. Homer: Do you think those guys on Friends need another friend? Lisa: That show's gone off the air. Homer: Dammit, I woulda been perfect as Rachel's irish cousin. So youuu're doin' each other are ya, but who's gonna put out for old Shamus. Homer: As long as I only work 5 hours a day, no heavy lifting, no light clerical, none of that secret santa crap, tasteful nudity. Guy: Let me see what I've got :plays video game: Game: You have defeated the doombot and sealed the portal. Fobos is safe. Homer: Fobos. That's a good job for me. Wiggum: I've had to medicate Ralphie with stuff from the evidence locker. Ralph: I'm coo-coo for contraband! Lisa: Drugs aren't so expensive in other countries. Man: In other countries families also lie on the floor and eat bugs. Lisa: What countries are those? Man: Ever been to Norway? Lisa: No. Man: Well they do it in Norway. Video: The mighty Amazon river. The natives had a word for it, then we got rid of the natives and nobody remembered that word. But here's some words everyone remembers by Huey Lewis and the News. Huey Lewis: I want a new drug! One that wont make me sick. One that wont make me crash my car, or make me feel three feet thick. I want a new drug. One that wont hurt my head... Nurse: For those of you who survive the night, we'll be having waffles tomorrow. Jasper: Ooh, waffles. Marge: Well, the drug company wont do anything to help us. Abe: I've got the answer! Homer: Dad? Abe: Oh thank god its the right place, I burst into four homes before this one.
Guard: Anything to declare? Homer: I declare that you have the most beautiful brown eyes. Guard: Why I do believe you're smuggling, A heart as big as all outdoors. Now get in my country you big lug.
Apu: It is Mr. Homer , my favorite customer. Please feel free to paw through my Playdudes and tell me to go back to some country I am not actually from.
Ned: Help me out Homer, my little Roddy needs his insulin. Breaks my heart to watch him Jones-diddly-onesing. Homer: Flanders. I dunno, I mean you havent done anything for me since you lent me that 5000 bucks yesterday.
Apu: Ten minutes alone with my squishee machine. Do what you will. Homer: No cameras? Apu: :disgusted: No cameras.
Ned: Hello neighbourino to the north! I sure like the cut of your jibberish. Canadian: Oh indodily doodily Ned/Canadian: Doodily diddly, diddly doddly doodily :etc: Canadian: Say, would you like to puff on a reeferino. It's legal here. Ned: They warned me satan would be attractive.
Announcer: Former US astronaut was taken into custody. Homer: Oh my butt looks so big during perp walks.
Guy: We've confiscated your car and its contents. French Translator: Nous avons confisqué votre voiture et son contenu Guy: You may leave Canada, but never return French Translator: Vous pouvez quitter le Canada, mais ne retournez jamais. Guy: I am a big fat French idiot. French Translator: Je suis un grand gros - HEY!
Smithers: Before I die there are words I've always longed to say. :chokes: Burns: Feat not Smithers, I'll move heaven and earth to save you. It's still easier than teaching a new assistant my filing system.
Burns: Now, we have three parachutes. This one's for me, and these two are gifts for my nephews. Tally ho.
Wiggum: Alright, you're under arrest. Abe: On what charge? Wiggum: Making a police chief go "daah, ah!"
Wiggum: Like it says in the Springfield police handbook, if you can't beat em, join em. Lou: You know I've been checking the handbook and a lot of things you say aren't in there at all. Wiggum: Yeah well, look a little closer, Lou.
