Kent: Geezer rock will soon be more than just a place for teens to have sex and commit suicide. Pimple Faced Kid: Why did they cancel Futurama!? Girl: You crushed my boyfriend, you better be good at making out! Bart: Whats the big deal about a rock that looks like a dude, I've got a dad who looks like a monkey. Homer: Bart you promised you'd stop making that comparison. :strangles bart: As per our agreement!
Smithers: Mr. Burns is gone, and tonight was the night I was gonna show him my tattoo. :reveals Boss Of My Heart tattoo: Kent: The town still mourns the loss of its venourable old man. Mr. Burns: Here it comes. Kent: Beloved by children. Mr. Burns: Ah yes, the little ones. Kent: Thought to be thousands of years old. Mr. Burns: I have been 89 for a while now. Kent: We'll miss you, Geezer Rock. Kent: Thankyou Geezer Rock for doing what none of us had the courage to do. Smush Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns: I don't have a friend in the world. Smithers: You have me, sir. Mr. Burns: Don't be so needy. Krusty: I haven't cried like this since the third Mr. Teeny died. You couldn't hold a candle to him. Neither could you. You were okay you got me brauds. Lisa: Alright Nelson what kind of journalism skills do you have. Nelson: I dunno, making nerds cry? Lisa: Perfect, you'll be our TV critic. Ralph, what about you? Ralph: I wanna be a firetruck. Lisa: How bout a feature columnist. Ralph: Yay I'm a feature columnist. Mr. Burns: I've bought every media outlet in town, TV, radio, even the sky writers. Brandine: Cletus what does that say? Cletus: That? That says um, I loves you Brandine. Brandine: Oh Cletus, tonight you can knock me up again. Kent: In tonights face-off, I'll be debating Channel Six movie ghoulie Boobarella on the subject of our new boss C. Montgomery Burns. My view, he's a great leader and a gallant American. Boobarella: He's got a heart as big as my boobs! Kent: I guess we'll have to agree to agree on this one. Boobarella: Booobs! Lisa: You hold in your hand the last paper not controlled by the Burns Media empire. We are not afraid to say Montgomery Burns is a monopolistic, self-agrandising ummm, stinky pants! Mr. Burns: Now get out! Lisa: I can't! My mom's not picking me up for an hour. Mr. Burns: So, what do you think of todays popular music scene. Lisa: I think it distracts people from more important social issues. Mr. Burns: My god, are you always on!? Lisa: You can't leave now, we're the only thing stopping Mr. Burns. Milhouse: Sorry Lisa, and by the way that story i filed from Baghdad was all made up, I was actually in Basrah Homer: These batteries have to power everything in our house. :inserts Spice Girls tape: YO, I tell you what I want what i really really want what I want what I want I'll tell you what I want! :Batteries die: That was totally worth it.
Mr. Burns: My league, my beautiful league. All dead. Smithers: Even monsters need air, sir. Mr. Burns: Blast, well gather their watches. I must find another way to vanquish the girl.
Homer: Well that loser Milhouse has always had a thing for her. Don't you love it when nerds don't know they're nerds.
Homer: Oh I can't stand seeing one of my children like this :closes Garage door over Lisa: Oh I can still hear her. I better do something.
Marge: Look at you go. Typedy-type-type-type! Homer: Marge, I'm pulling an all nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers. Marge: Oh, some aniversary this is.
Homer: All my daughter ever did was tell people to think for themselves. I may be her father, but when I grow up, I wanna be just like her, except still a dude.
Willie: Check out the Willie world news. I review the new tractors. They're all shite.
Selma: Are you a Patty or a Selma, take out quiz. Captain: Well blow me down, I'm a Selma!
