Milhouse: I don't understand this game Bart. How come we have to rake your lawn while you just get to sit there? Bart: Because I'm it! Now, whoever finishes first gets lemonade. For me. Bart: Okay ladies, don't you have a poodle to dress up? Sherri: Fine, we'll go! We'll find some other way to entertain our boy crazy cousin who thinks you're cute. Bart: Oh, I wouldnt mind pushing that in the mud!
Milhouse: Round and round the bottle twirls I hope it stops on one of the girls. I hope you like the taste of ringworm medicine! Homer: Eew, I kissed that sad weird kid! My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine! Homer: Underpriveleged? You pretended we were poor just to get me into camp? Abe: Ah, yeah, pretended. Homer: I thought we were gonna play fun games at camp! Moe: Oh here's one! It's called stay outta my way! Homer: An eye patch! But I've got a date tonight! Moe: Oh don't worry, chicks love that kind of thing. Patches, scars, stumps. Everything but zits. Homer: Who are you? Captain: The sailing instruct-arrr. And on movie night, I run the project-arrr. Only PG, nothing R-rrrr. Yarr! Homer: Oh, this is so confusing. I'd like a brief recess! Lisa: Granted. Homer: Whee, recess! Bart: You're lame! Homer: Why, because I only kissed one girl in my whole life? That's still one more than you. Bart: I've kissed three girls. Homer: Oh I'm so lame! Marge: I used to walk like this all the time. Until my tendons snapped. They heard it in Shelbyville! Helen: I bet it's something low-rent. Like Billy Bob. Selma: Or Homer! Cookie: Big ugly Homer! Marge: Oh I'm sure it's a much nicer name than Homer. Homer: Uh, think Homer think! Marge: What did you say? Homer: I'm Elvis. Elvis Jagger. Elvis Jagger Abdul Jabar! Bart: We've heard the same story two times now. Whose side are we gonna hear next, the sea captains? Captain: No no, I best be on my way. Marge: Will I see you again tomorrow? Homer: Absolutely. Or my name isn't ... whatever I told you it was.
Bart: Men are dogs. The worse we treat you the more you want us! Lisa: That's not what dogs do! Bart: You said dog doo!
Instructor: No eating the grass! Wiggum: He didn't say nuthin about this poison oak! Sweet sweet poison.
Marge: Hello? I'd like to speak to Elvis Jagger Abdul Jabar. Moe: Hey don't you try to prank me with a fake name. I'd rip out your intestines and use them to make a lanyard. Hello? Hello? And that's the origin of that.
Selma: We know everything about boys. Except what they look like below the waist. Patty: I have some theories based on a G I Joe I bought.
Cookie: Are you leaving camp because of that boy? Because that's what I've been telling everybody. You're also pregnant.
Instructor: We've got an emergency here. We need ten CC's pronto. And by CC's I mean cupcakes. Guy: I know what you mean, Bill. I've worked here longer than you.
Homer: We shared something special! Patty: What? Just 'cause she smooched you. :kisses Homer: Was that special! Homer: No!
Bart: What are you doing! If they fight in front of us we might get new bikes!
Marge: Homer when your nerves are hurt for 30 years it doesn't go away in an instant. Homer: What about now? Marge: Oh! Homer: What about now? Marge: No Homer. Homer: What about now? Marge: No Homer! Homer: What about now? Marge: No Homer!
Homer: I've done way worse stuff since then. There was the gun I hid from you, the time I sued the church. Ruining Lisa's wedding in the future. Remember that?
Homer: Ooh, a letter from my old pen pal! Some day I'll write you back Osama.
Marge: Oh Elvis! Homer: Oh anonymous girl who turned out to be Marge!
