Yes Man: Sir, other customers need to use that dressing room! Homer: Dressing room? Uh oh. Bart: Name of groom, Bart Simpson. Name of bride, Lotta Cotties
Burns: What's the traditional pleasant gift in these parts, a milking cow? Smithers: Actually silverware is all that's left on the registry. Burns: See if Lenny wants to go in on a spoon. Quimby: Remember, if anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town. Lady: I am your niece, uncle Joe! Quimby: Good lord! I'm an abomination! Bart: Come on, Chief it was just a prank! Would some flatware make things right. Wiggum: Um, what does it say on my badge? Cash bribes only! Lets go. Wiggum: We've already got an informer working deep cover on your dad. One he'll never suspect. Homer: Is it Lenny? Wiggum: Dammit! I mean, no. Ralph: Your eyes need diapers! Homer: It's not all your fault. All these years I've watched you turn our son into a timebomb and yet I did nothing. So in a way, I too am a victim. Of you. Lisa: His acting out was probably caused by negative reinforcement. Homer: Oh, I get it, blame the strangler! Hm! ........ Hm!........... Hm! Warden: Welcome aboard. This end's for beating, this end's for holding. Homer: Uh huh, when does training start? Warden: It just finished. Homer: I brought you a lollipop from the guards lounge! Bart: Nyaaa! Not so tough now, huh!? Homer: Yeah uh... well that's the end of my shift .Seeya Monday. Oh wait Monday's Martin Luther King Day. Well I'll see you when I see you. Mwah! Love you! Warden: The part of the brain that remembers dance steps is also the anger centre. So Juveniles who know how to foxtrot are 10% less likely to commit a double homicide. Kid: Who conducted this study!? Warden: The institute of SHUT YOUR FAT FACE. Now pair up. Gina: Hands at 10 and 2, no eye contact, and I don't want to hear how pretty I look! Bart: Don't worry, you wont! Gina: Guess where the next one's going? Bart: :muffled: Up my butt?
Gina: I'm telling them this was your idea. Bart: Yeah why would they believe you. Gina: Because I can do this. :cries: That mean boy. He dragged me out of the dance and I didn't want to go but he was too strong! Bart: But you've got 20 pounds on me! Gina: And then he said I was fat! Bart: Oh I am screwed.
Kent: I am not chipping in on a birthday cake for that jackass Arnie Pie, let him eat... This is Kent Brockman, live at..
Kent: We've bought in an expert. Former underage defender Snake. Snake: If they're smart, Kent, they'll stay off the main roads. It's all here in my book. Ten Habits Of Highly Sucessful Criminals. Kent: Alright, I plugged your book, now put down the gun! Snake: Tell them I'll be on Conan Thursday with Heather Locklear and Third Eye Blind.
Lisa: Why would Bart escape if he's gonna be released in two weeks? Homer: You just don't understand boys. He's stupid!
Homer: Relax, what's the worse that can happen.
:has odd daydream: Homer: No son of mine will be marched down the aisle at the barrell of a raygun. Let's go!
Bart: Gina, before we get any closer, there's something you need to know about me. I think girls are ickypants.
Bart: Wait, do you even have a family. Gina: No I don't. They're imaginary. Like your brain!
Marge: You'll be in jail for so long. But I'll keep your room just the way it was. A Pigstye!
Wiggum: Take a good hard look at the innocent love in your son's eyes because when he gets out of prison It'll be gone forever. He will have a great bod though, and a couple of those teardrop tattoos. Those are cool!
Gina: There's something I have to tell you guys. Lou: Look, my fly is down because it's broken, okay!
Warden: Well, my shift's over. I guess it's back to my bachelor apartment, make a tuna sandwich, turn on Will and Grace and cry myself to sleep. Marge: Oh, would you like to join us? Warden: Didn't you hear, I've got an evening planned!
