Kent: :takes puff of smoke: Oh god I love to smoke.... We're live! At the opening of the latest chapter of the epic space saga Cosmic Wars! Lisa: Where's your costume? Comic Book Guy: Your ignorance is amusing and sad. I'm dressed in the actual clothing worn by Cosmic Wars creator Randall Curtis. I bought them at auction, and added pregnancy panels to fit my unique body type.
Otto: One ticket for Cosmic Wars. Lady: Uh, sir, this is the line for The Momentum of Things, starring Ellen Bursten and Jim Broadbent. Otto: Oh man I waited three weeks at the wrong ticket window. Homer: Man, even I think movie popcorn has gotten too big. Get your own, mooch! Lisa: That character's just a tired stereotype Luigi: Yes, and it's-a- makin me so mad, i'm-a gonna throw meatballs at the screen. But first, I've gotta pose for a pizza box. Comic Book Guy: Worst Cosmic Wars ever! I will only see it three more times. Today. Homer: That's it, from now on I'm not looking forward to anything! Oh my god! Tomorrow there's a two for one sale on piano benches. I can't wait, ooh, ooh, ooh! Marge: Kids, why don't you write a complaint letter? That's how I got the Channel Six weather girl to start wearing a bra. Homer: That was you!? Bart: A letter huh? Okay Lis' get this down. Dear Randall Curtis, your movie stunk smelly butt. I am fine. Sincerely -- Lisa: I'll write the letter. Homer: Marge, you destroyed my interest in weather! Homer: And I know just where to find him. 742 Evergreen Terrace. Lisa: Dad, that's our address. Homer: He's in the house!? Marge: California is wine country. We could take a tour. Homer: And it's the perfect time, I just got fired again. Randall: Kids please accept these boxes of Jim Jam's cereal. It's just alphabets with extra j's. Homer: I love to hear you laugh. Hee hee hee. Marge: I don't talk like that. Homer: Yes you doooooo Marge: Well you talk like "ooh, Marge, sorry I set the bed on fire, d'oh!" Marge: Moe's Tavern? That's your fun place. Like me and the lamp store. Homer: Come on, we'll have a blast. Kids, while we're out, the tv's in charge. Go to bed when it says. Moe: Now in a step I perhaps should have taken initially, let me look up the value of that bottle in this wine collectors guide here. Oh what have I done? Let me dry my tears with this lost Shakespeare play.
Marge: Have you ever walked on stilts, it's not that great! Homer: Yes, and you've said that several times now. Marge: Why do people worry about stuff, it's all gonna work out. Homer: All good points!
Homer: I'm in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn't listen to myself. I'm drunk!
Marge: Oh no, I'm gonna be incarc- incarc- incarc- I'm going to jail!
Moe: Oh, what are you you're like a monst- that's the worst thing I've ever heard anybody do to anybody. You should be drinking watered down beer in a chipped glass, on a stool with a nail sticking up out of it.
Barney: Marge when I finally decided to stop drinking, there was a place that really helped me out. Maybe they can help you! Marge: This is a pamphlet for chimney sweeping! Barney: Is it, Marge? Is it... Oh it is. Here you go. This place is great. It cured me five times.
Homer: You can't put me on hold, I'll put you on hold. :sings: I am a line man for the county. Your call is important to us, please continue to hold. And I drive the main road. There are 8 calls ahead of you. And the Wichita Lineman is still on the la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-liiiine!
Otto: You know how some people are chocoholics? Well I'm an alcoholic!
Homer: I'm here to deliver a package to Marge Simpson.....! Guy: Where's the package? Homer: ...............dammit!
Agnes: What's with all those rapping grannies in the movies. If I ever start rapping just shoot me in the head.
Agnes: You're hooked on love, Marge. I know that feeling. 9 months later Seymour plopped out of me. I would have kept walking but there were cops everywhere.
Marge: My name is Marge S. And I'm a Homerholic. Otto: You're drinking Homerhol, I'll take a swig! Marge: I'm afraid what I like can't be swallowed, sniffed, or smoked! Otto: Then you better inject it between my toes 'cause my mom checks my arms!
