Lenny: I had a small speaking role. Carl: Yeah, I went to visit him and was banned from the set. Lisa: Mr. Leonard, how did you get in a movie? Lenny: Hah. Classic Hollywood story. The director saw my photo in a medical book. Rod: I'm scared! Homer: Relax, stupid. Everything you see is make believe. Although it is based on a true story. Some of which happened in this very theater
Lisa: Dad, I don't like this movie. Can we go home Homer: Oh honey don't be scared. Look, they killed the evil doll. :Lisa cries: Oh whaddya know, it's unkillable! Homer: You have the right to remain sexy. Anything you touch can and will be held against you in the court of sex. If you cannot afford a sex-tourney.. Homer: I thought we killed him! Marge: No we didn't! Homer: But I did delete him from my bulk email list. Marge: No you didn't. Artie: That's right. Twice a week I get your email of the monkey peeing in his own mouth. Homer: Oh yeah, that monkey got America through some tough times. Artie: Let me explain. I was an internet billionaire. Bart: Oop, say no more! Artie: I would stop but I love my voice. Artie: They even took my repo vans! Artie: Don't worry. If you let me stay I'll be on my best behaviour. Not even a fresh remark. Except this one. Woweewowowow ZaZOOOOOOOOGA! Artie: Doesn't your father ever read to you. Lisa: He tried once but he got confused and thought the book was real. He's still looking for that chocolate factory. It consumes him. Homer: Guys, I'd like you to meet Artie Ziff. Jon Lovitz Characters: Helloooooo handsome! Artie: Hello... losers! Willie: I lost all me screw you money! Skinner: I'm very sorry to hear that, Willie. Willie: Screw you! Moe: Wait a minute, how can you arrest Homer. This guy's the one what done the thing that why you're here for! Homer: Refust to answer on the grounds that I what? Lawyer::whispers: Homer: Ensaminate myself? Dudes, I think this guy's coming onto me. Lawyer: You sir are a moron! Homer: A mormon? But I'm from earth! Artie: Marge, I think about a lot more than just moi. Dream: Artie, Artie Artie Artie, Artie Artie Artie, Artie Artie Ziff Ziff Ziff Ziff Ziff Ziff! Artie: Oh my god, she's right!
Bart: Donnie's friends get some payback on Daddy while he's sleeping. Daddy's on fire, daddy's not on fire, daddy's on fire, daddy's not on fire, daddy's on fire... Marge: Daddy's not on fire. Maggie: :cries: Marge: Okay fine, he is!
Bart: Hey dad, maybe this'll cheer you up. Why you little :chokes self: Homer: Oh, it's no use son. By the time I get out of here you'll be grown. Turn around, turn around, turn around and you're a young man. And you're too big to choke.
Moe: Well well, look who showed his face. The louse who sold out his only friend. You got a lotta nerve coming here, but since you did, what'll it be. First one's on the house.
Patty: Is this dump open. We were jogging and ran out of cigarettes. Artie: Pardon me for intruding but I believe teenage girls shouldn't smoke.
Moe: Uh you know, they say that the love of a good woman can save any man. Patty: Except you, freak. Moe: Well if you change your mind you know where I am. Patty: In my nightmares! Moe: I'm gonna stop now.
Artie: :makes grunting noises: Selma: What the hell are you doing? Artie: I can't get my socks off. Selma: Ah leave them on. I like a man with a little mystery. :kisses Artie: Artie: I'm done.
Artie: Wonderful, glorious, magnificent. And you were pretty good too.
Selma: Well he can't break my heart, cause he kinda makes me sick. This could work!
Kent: Simpson's grateful family had this to say. Marge: I'm so happy to be getting my husband back. Bart: And I'm happy to listen to FM 95.3, home of Boomer and the Diz. Marge: Bart! Bart: Chill out mom, they gave me this hat.
Lisa: Oh, dad. I missed you so much! Homer: Oh my god, Maggie you're talking. Artie: Homer, I believe that's Lisa. Homer: Oh Bart, what a man you've become!
