Edna: Children I'm sorry to say one of your lunches exploded.Who has the 'little bunny foofoo' lunchbox? Nelson: Uh, that would be me. It's not my fault, I can't afford a better lunchbox because I'm poor. Edna: What happened to my little class coward? Milhouse: What do you care, Mrs. Krabappel. Or should I say Mrs. Crab-Apple! Hahaha. Kearney: Crab apple? Jimbo: I never thought of that Girl: It toally works. Dolph: Oh how could I have been so blind.
Homer: Rollin' rollin rollin', toxic barrel rollin' Lenny: They're so hot and glowin' Carl: We'll die! Mr. Burns: Smithers the board of directors is coming here today. I don't want them to see snap crackle and pop down there. Smithers: Sir there's a big cardboard box out back that could keep them amused. They could make a fort! Mr. Burns: No, no, Just give them each a nickel and send them to Moe's. Isabel Sanford: At this museum you wont see Michaelangelo. But you might see Michael Landon, and Beverly D'Angelo. Homer: To old man Burns, who's paying us to drink because we're embarassing. Lenny/Carl: We suck! Apu: We're going to see Paris.... Hilton. In Paris... Texas. On our way to Paris... France. Milhouse: Then let's just say I don't care what people think of me anymore. Bart: You mean up until now you did care? Then why did you wear that tutu to school last week. Milhouse: What about all the times I didn't wear a tutu. Nobody ever brings those up. Lisa: I'm sure its hard to lose your best friend. Bart: You mean Milhouse? Funny little guy. Fraid of the dark. And the light. Now I have new friends. Guys who get me. Here's one right now. Lisa: Who is it? Is it Ralph? Bart: It is not Ralph. Ralph: Hi Bart! My nose makes its own Bubble Gum. Ralph: 18...19...20! I found you Bart! Bart: Ralph, we're playing Checkers. Ralph: I don't like you boy mommy. Bum: Well, there are six schools of begging. Bad musician, messed up vet, cripple, fake cripple, religious zelot, and crazy guy. I think you would do well with crazy guy. Homer: Coke and Pepsi are the same thing! Wake up people! :gibberish: Bum: Wow, now that is good crazy! Kid: Springfield baby, in a diaper, piked his eye, with a windshield wiper. Kids: Springfield baby, Springfield baby! Milhouse: I'll always love you Bart. Springfield baby! Springfield baby! Marge: You'd be like an owl saying "Milhouse whooooo!? Milhouse whoooo? Milhouse whooooo!?" Bart: Hey Mouldilocks, mom says I'm supposed to help you. Lisa: Fine, you can confirm the accuracy of the hose. Hahaha! You wet your pants! Grampa: Shutup! It's a serious problem!
Marge: Homie, I'd like to know what you've been doing after work. Homer: Marge, I'm not gonna lie to you.................... Marge: Hmmmmm!
Bart: Just forget everything you know about gravity! Lisa: But I know so much about it. Bart: Just do it!
Homer: Mr. Bo Jangles! Mr. Bo Jangles! We're all Bo Jangles. Who killed Bo Jangles? Maybe it was youuuuuuuu! Thankyou, thankyou, remember, my dog up and died. Thankyou.
Lisa: Oh my god! My brother's my best friend! Bart: Oh my god! My sister's my best friend! Marge: Diamonds! I still can't believe he gave me diamonds! Homer: Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the baldest of them all?
Willie: Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scotts. Or Welshmen and Scotts. Or Japanese and Scotts. Or Scotts and other Scotts! Damn Scotts! They ruined Scotland! Skinner: You Scotts sure are contentious people. Willie: You just made an enemy for life!
Marge: Homer! You're panhandling. I should have known from that panhandling sign! Plus that ticket you got for panhandling.
Lisa: I thought your mom took you away forever. Kirk: I got a court order bringing him back. The judge said I was the most pathetic person he'd ever seen in court. Pity custody! Booyeah!
Milhouse: Those Cap City kids don't think I'm cool anymore. We were having a sleepover and a robber came and wet my bed. Then he folded the bed back into the couch and disappeared into the night.
Bart: Since he's been back, Milhouse has had three bloody noses and stepped in dog doo. It's always a party with that guy.
Homer: When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass!
