Burns: Hehehe, money is for the poor! Smithers: Why don't you use your ATM card? Burns: Ah yes the Automated Teller Machineyolatrolamaton! Burns: Smithers, what's my password? Smithers: It's your age, sir. Burns: Excellent! :four beeps are heard:
Bart: There's a ladybug in your hair.. Milhouse: Get it out! Get it out! Bart: Got it! Milhouse: You're a good friend, Bart Bart: The best you'll ever have. Homer: Can you describe the bill? Moe: Descri-- sure, of course. Bart: Whose picture's on it? Moe: Uh, it'd have to be someone famous. I'm gonna say.. Hitler. Snake: Um, does the bill have bank teller blood on it? Lisa: No! It doesn't. Snake: I'm sorry I wasted your time. Bart: What am I gonna do with a thousand dollars?
-- Song: It's Bart's moon party from outer space, with R2-D2 playing the bass.
-- Bart: Hmm, nobody's touching the Hors D'oveurs Homer: It's Bart's moon party from outer space w... what? Dr. Hibbert: What do I get if I join the museum as a friend of Bart? Marge: A subscription to Bartform magazine, and Bart will say "eat my shorts" on your home answering machine. Moe: How much to have Bart crank call me? Oh that would be hilarious. Abe: I'll never forget you, Edwina..
-- Abe: But I did! Until just now! Tony Blair: Hello, welcome to the United Kingdom. Lisa: Prime minister Tony Blair? Bart: Why are you greeting lowlifes like us at the airport? Tony: Because I want to encourage all the world to come see the beauty of 21st Century Britain. Homer: Would an American dollar encourage you to leave us alone? Tony: No :grabs it: But thankyou. Marge: Tony, I mean, Mr. Prime Minister, what should we see first. Tony: There's so much to see here. Parliament. Statford on Avon, White Cliffs of Dover. Oh and you Americans love castles, there's a huge one in Edinburgh, the city where I was born. Homer: The place I was born is now a gator farm. Tony: Smashing. Lisa: Maybe you could give us a personal tour of your country? Tony: I'd love to. But I'm late for an appointment. I'm greeting a lovely Dutch couple at gate 23. Cheerio Homer: Wow, I can't believe we met Mr. Bean. Marge: England is so classy. Every cab has it's own butler! Englishman: Actually I'm not a butler, I had already hired this cab when you got in, but, the more the merrier and all that! Homer: Make with the tea, Jeeves. Englishman: Yes, very good, sir. Abe: Did you spend an unforgettable night with a soldier from the U.S. Army in 1944? You did! Was he from the first inventory division? He was! And was he a gentle caring lover? He was? Sorry I bothered you. Homer: Aw dad, I wish there was something I could do.... touch that mini bar and you're dead! Lisa: Look, it's J.K. Rowling, author of Harry Potter books. You've turned a generation of kids onto reading. J.K. Rowling: Thankyou young muggle. Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series? J.K. Rowling: He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear? Lisa: Yes! British Pimple Kid: Welcome to Judy Dench's Fish And Chips. Now completely free of Mad Fish disease. Homer: Fish? I don't know, I'm not really a vegetarian. British Kid: Please order or Ms. Dench will be furious. She'll beat us she will! Judy Dench: Who are you talking to? British Kid: No one, mum, I swear! Judy Dench: I'll mum you! British Kid: Oh blimey!
Homer: Well Marge, you gotta admit, I've been on my best behaviour this trip. Marge: You punched out three people on the street. Homer: That was over soccer results. Can you believe they gave Digs a yellow card in the box? Marge: Do you understand any part of what you just said? Homer: I understand the word 'gave' unless it means something else in this country.
British Man 1: Surely they could never be taught proper manners. British Man 2: One gold sovereign says I could do just that. British Man 1: Oh, it's a bet, Lord Daft Wager. Homer: You can't bet on my kids. This is America, pal! British Man 2: Don't worry, we'll find more wagers. British Man 1: I love you, Lord Daft Wager. British Man 2: Yes, and I you. :the pair kiss: Mmyees, quite.
Ian McKellen: We believe it's bad luck to mention the name of this particular play out loud. Homer: You mean MacBeth? :car splashes water onto Ian: Ian: Quiet you blundering fool! You'll curse us all! Homer: What, by saying MacBeth? :anvil falls on Ian's foot: Ian: Stop saying it! Homer: Saying what? Ian: MacBeth! Uh! Now I've said it :Ian gets struck by lightning: Bart: Oh, this is cool. MacBeth, MacBeth, MacBeth. :lightning strikes: Marge: Bart! Stop saying MacBeth! :lightning strikes: Lisa: Mom, you said MacBeth! :lightning strikes: Homer: Mr. MacBeth, I'm so sorry! :lightning strikes: Ian: That's quite alright, you didn't know. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a performance to give. Bart: Good luck! Ian: It's bad luck to say that too! :MacBeth sign falls on Ian's head:
Homer: We Americans love queens, be they Homecoming or Dairy. This woman, however, is an imposter! Her luggage is inscribed H.R.H. Which means her name must be... Henryetta R. Hippo!
Lisa: Why did you let him be his own barrister? Marge: What difference could it make? He hit the friggin' queen!
Homer: Your honor, I've completely disappointed my wife, that's punishment enough. You understand these things, you're a grandmother. Judge: I'm a man! Homer: Oh, and a very manly one if I may say so.
Englishman: Look at his great staring eyes! English Child: Like saucers they are they are! Bart: He claimed he was me father, he did! Marge: Bart, you're not helping! Bart: Poke the monster with a stick! Toppins a jab. Come on, queue up lads!
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm so sorry. I should have listened to whatever it was you were saying.
Homer: Well Marge, if I die here, there's one thing I want you to remember. Don't buy any videotapes in England. They wont work in out VCR.
Homer: Dear god of England. Please let me go. In return I will spell color with a 'u' and I will use the metric system with every cubic millilitre in my.. oh I can't do it, it's so stupid! Homer: Okay, what do i do? Lisa: Push the grey brick in the back of the fireplace! Homer: Sweet freedom, here I owwwwwwwwwwwww! Lisa: Put out the fire first!
Homer: It's a good thing I'm leaving before I went nuts. Goodbye sparkly elves! Elves: Goodbye!
Lisa: We've made a terrible mistake! This tunnel comes out in the worst possible place! Bart: An elephants butt? Lisa: Yes, Bart, an elephants butt.
Homer: I know we don't call as often as we should and we aren't as well behaved as our goodie two-shoes brother Canada. Who by the way has never had a girlfriend. I'm just saying.
Marge: That was very sweet of the queen! Letting you go on exchange for taking Madonna back to America. Madonna: Oim telling yew! Oim English! Marge: English women don't pump gas naked!
Abe: Sorry I never saw you again. I just felt the cultural differences between us were too great. Plus as the boat pulled away from the dock I thought you looked fat.
Abby: Mmmm.. Bacon. Uuuughghh! Edwina: Abe, this is my daughter, Abby! She's 58 this month. Abe: 58? Well, 59 years ago your mother and I were have... oh.. gotta go, see you in heaven. :runs in terror: Abby: Mummy, he's everything you said he was! Homer: Lady, you're gorgeous. You make Dame Edna look like a dude. Abby: Why thankyou. You're alright, love!
