Lisa: Dad you're getting paint on your wedding ring. Homer: Oh, right can you hold it? Lisa: This is a bandaid wrapped in tinfoil. Homer: My real ring's inside a turtle. Song: Who left the milk out, yuk-yuk-yuk, Dad left the milk out, yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk.
Milhouse: Bart, remember when I was crying at recess. I think I'm finally ready to tell you why. Milhouse: Sweet Valley High! Krusty played a batman villain!? Marge: Not feeling well going to bed, dinner and breakfast are on the table. Homer: Did you label the meals so I could tell which is which. Marge: Yes! Marge: Now don't get too used to these. That awful doctor said he'd take them out in a couple of days. Homer: Yeah he truly is a monster. Lisa: Mom what happened? Your endowments bigger than Harvards. Homer: Well that cinches it. Lisa gets the prize for the best off-the-cuff response. Lisa: Actually I saw them earlier and I was working on it in the hall. Luigi: I make you the fresh pasta, instead of the crap from a can I give to everybody else. Agnes: :to Skinner: It's as cold as my love for you. Homer: You took a twenty karat diamond and made it gleam, Like a big spaghetti dinner smothered in whip cream. Comic book guy: You're like X-Men number three in a Mylar bag. Snake: You're a brand new muscle car and all the wheels are mag. Burns: You make me feel as young as the blood I get from sheep. Sea Captain: You're like Jacqueline Bisset in my favorite film, "The Deep". Moe: You're sexy and exotic like a hooker from Belize. Hibbert: Or a patient with insurance whose crawling with disease. Men: You're a sundae underneath two great big cherries. Marge: Keep in mind they're only temporaries! Men: Here we'd like to say that we are very, very glad to see you, Quimby: And I decree you... ...The hottest thing to hit this city since the fire that killed eleven... All: [gasp] Quimby: ...dangerous criminals! All: Hooray! Homer: And they're all mine. Marge: Homer, how come you never sang a song like that to me before. Homer: Oh I was getting around to it. Bart: That's great mom, but don't forget.. I got Krusty in hot water, now I've got to help him out, dun-dun-dun! Homer: Shut up boy. Bart: Oh I don't get a song? Mom got a song. Homer: With the economy the way it is you're lucky you get soup. Lenny: You're a lucky man, Homer Carl: Yeah this is the longest I've ever gone without looking at Lenny. Mel: So Krusty, are you ready to shoot this apple off my head. Krusty: Well if by shoot you mean teach, and by head you mean safety then yes! Bart: Oh man now they wont let Krusty do anything fun. Milhouse: Teletubbies get away with more than this. Tatum: I've been paid millions to endorse these butt-ugly shoes. My fourthrightness is my undoing. Homer: I came out of the elephant's mouth, right? Because I already showered once today.
Baha Men: Who Let Her Jugs Out? D'oh! D'oh D'oh D'oh! Marge let her jugs out!
