Lugash: For next exercise, put hands on hips, jump out window, and go tell parents to STOP WASTING TIME WITH FAILURE CHILD! Girl: :bursts into tears: Kennedy: Good luck Lisa. Lisa: Thanks, I'll see you in heaven. Kennedy: Err.. yes, heaven.
Lisa: Ich bin ein Gymnast! Homer: Aww, she must have dreamt about Hitler again. Abe: A laughy meal for you, and a nostalgia meal for me. Oh boy this takes me back. Two ration stamps, and an artilery shell full of olio. Bart: What's your nostalgia prize, grampa? Abe: Liberace action figure. Liberace: Party tonight at Ronnie McDowells. Ooohoo. Lugash: Relax. Think of floor as full of snakes. You fall, they KILL YOU. Relax, relax, and.. SNAKES! Lugash: You girls were all great, cats back for everyone. Girl: I had a dog. Lugash: Is cat now! Carrie: Aren't you in college? Lisa: Uh.. of course! Where do you think I go, baby school? Ralph: Seeya tomorrow, Lisa. We find out what five minus three is! Lisa: Um.. I'm in teacher's aid in a very special class. Ralph: No Lisa, we're both in-- Lisa: Go! Go! Go! Lisa: Wow, I'm actually passing as a college student. And they don't have a Blue's clue! Whoops. Gotta age it up. Life sucks. Tina: Totally. Lisa: I um, share a house with a couple of girls, couple of guys. Carrie: Guys, huh? Are they cute? Lisa: Well, Bart's kinda--- NO! Homer: :singing Chumbawumba's Tubthumping: I get knocked down! I get knocked down again! You are never gonna knock me down. Tina: Woah, party house! Homer: :smashes window: Hey, where's my keg? Lisa: Mom's not going to like that. Tina: Who's mom? Lisa: Umm, that's what we call the gay guy who lives with us. Homer: :singing Tubthumping: I take a whiskey drink, I take a chocolate drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink! I sing the song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy. Lisa: I'll see you tomorrow. Marge: I knew it was serious when he said he didn't want ice cream. Bart: I did want ice cream! Marge: Well, your father ate it all. Carrie: I love her, she's a total free spirit. Tina: She'd have to be, where she lives. That place had a Manson family vibe. Carrie: Yeah well I live in a dorm without a DSL line. Tina: Freaky.
Homer::gives Bart a bath: That is called parenting!
Lisa: Oh my god, my social studies project is due tomorrow morning! :runs home quickly: Robert Pinsky: Hey, did she put in for the pizza?
Lisa: :sleeps: Ralph: You're like my mommy after a big box of wine.
Nelson: Give me your lunch money. Wendell: But it's after lunch! Nelson: It's just an expression. Like, kick your butt could involve no kicking whatsoever.
Nelson: That's it, Simpson. I'm gonna kick you right in the ball.
Teacher: So what does this cartoon mean? Student: It shows how the depletion of our natural resources has pitted our small farmers against each other. Teacher: Yes, and birds go tweet, what else?
Carrie: Lisa, did you lie to us. Lisa: I just wanted to belong. For once I felt I was with intellectual equals. Tina: I can't believe I cheated off an eight year old.
Carrie: She's worse than that 80 year old who pretended to be a freshman. Hans Moleman: I just wanted a place to sit down.
Marge: College is no place for a young girl, with those quadrangles, and study carols, and syllabi!
Lisa: Doogie Howser went to college when he was my age. Homer: Against my wishes! Lisa: But the atmosphere was so stimulating, It was a buzzling marketplace of ideas. Marge: Oh, and this kitchen isn't? Lisa: Well.. Marge: I put those Cathy's on the fridge for you. I don't even like them. They've gotten so smutty. Homer: Oh sure, if a man does it it's smutty, but if a woman did it-- Marge: Homer, Cathy is a woman. Homer: Oh come on, he...... you're right.
Lisa: What are you guys doing? Janey: We're going to roll down the hill. Lisa: Can I come with you? Milhouse: I don't know. Are you sure you're not too college for us? Janey: Yeah, sorry we can't be more college. Nelson: Hey Einstein, what's a million plus a million? Lisa: Two million. Nelson: So?
Willie: Don't let 'em get to you, lass. I'm too good for this place too. Now run home to your shack. Lisa: I live in a house! Willie: Well la-di-da, college girl! Well I guess you're too good for me too!
Lisa: I know just how you feel. Isolated, alone, cut off from everyone. Bart: Are you kidding? This little baby has made me more popular than ever. Lenny: Hey, Bubble boy! Lookin' good! Carl: Call me!
Agnes: I've got a question! How dare you wear white! I hear what you do at night. Seymour: Security!
Bart: Sure is sunny. Was the air always this fresh? I'm just gonna hang out in this vent. Ah. Does this thing suck, or blow? SUUUUUUCK..
