Homer: Now that's what I call a moon shot! Bart: Dad, that line was in the cartoon. Homer: I'm pretty sure it wasn't. Homer: Boy, did you make a prank call to Brazil? Bart: No sir, I didn't. Homer: CHOKE ON YOUR LIES!
Marge: Ooh that's the Movie Phone guy! Guy: The movie we've selected plays at 8pm at Springfield Cinema Six. Thankyou for dating Mr. Movie Phone. Our evening will be rated R for brief nudity. Marge: We've met you m any times Miss Nagel, why do you keep changing jobs? Lindsey: I'm a sexual predator. Homer: We are not paying this bill. Lindsey: Fine, I'll cut off your service. Homer: Fine, I'll cut off your pony tail! Marge: Homer! Homer: Marge, it's called negotiating. Lenny: Homer, they were cleaning out a cooling duct at the plant and they found a box of old taco shells. Homer: Oh, why didn't you call me? Lenny: Oh, we tried. But a recording said you were a bunch of deadbeats. :Homer tries to play with electricity and fails many times: Lisa: What call to Brazil? Homer: The one I didn't make and Marge didn't make and Bart didn't make and hence no-one in the house made. Homer: Don't you know the boys from Brazil are little hitlers? I saw it in a movie! Whose name I can't remember! Orphan: Hi Lisa. Thankyou for your generosity, I bought sturdy shoes which will last for a thousand samba's. Marge: Oh he's so adorable. Can we have another baby? Homer: No way, I still haven't lost the weight I put on from the last one. Orphan: The orphanage was able to buy a door, now the monkeys cannot bite me. I am like sugar to them! Bart: Well, we've got to find him! What? I'm really concerned. Fine, I want to meet monkeys. Homer: Then it's settled. The Simpsons are going to Brazil. Bart: Then I'll have been on every continent. Lisa: Except Antarctica. Homer: The Simpsons are going to Antarctica. Next year. Homer: Wait wait wait, so in August it's cold? Lisa: That's right. Homer: And in February, it's hot? Lisa: Mmhmm. Homer: So it's opposite land! Crooks chase cops, cats have puppies! Lisa: No, dad, it's just the weather. Homer: So hot snow falls up? Lisa: :sighs: Yees.
Bart: Get ready, Brazil, I now speak fluent Spanish. Marge: Well done, Bart. But in Brazil they speak Portuguese. Bart: Aye Carumba :speaks Spanish:
Captain: This is your captain speaking. The local temperature in Rio De Janero is hot hot hot! With 100% chance of passion! Man: You make that joke every time! Captain: It was that joke that made you fall in love with me!
Homer: :singing: Take me to the ho-tel, my hands are on a guys-ass! Boy this dude must work-out!
Bart: Look, the room came with a fruit hat! Homer: Hey, and a minibar hat! Bart: :singing: I'm chaquita banana and I'm here to say.. Homer: I will eat this Toblerone and I will not pay!
Nun: Every day we light a candle for him. Bart: Have you tried looking for him? Nun: That's plan B.
Homer: :singing: I'm in Rio, and I'm walking on the beach, I'm in my Speedo. Hee hee hee.
Taxi Driver: My American friend, I'm afraid this is a kidnapping. Homer: So that means I don't have to pay the fare. Taxi Driver: I suppose.. Homer: Woohoo! Taxi Driver: I'm afraid you don't appreciate the seriousness of the situation. Homer: Fine. Take me but let the boy go. Taxi Driver: I'm afraid he has already gone.
Homer: I have a bladder the size of a Brazil nut. Taxi Driver: We just call them nuts here.
Policeman: So you want me to find your husband. Marge: Yes. Policeman: And you also want me to find a little boy. Marge: That's right. Policeman: I don't think there is a boy or a husband, I think you have a thing for me. Man: Aaarghh. I've been shot! Policeman: I'm flattered but I do not swing that way.
Moe: Moe's Tavern, home of the stinkiest rag in America. Homer: Hey, Moe. Moe: Oh, Homer I need fifty grand, don't ask me why. Homer: No, no I need fifty grand. Moe: I asked you first! Homer: Fine, I'll send you fifty grand. Moe: Thanks. Homer: Hello, Flanders? I need a hundred grand. Ned: Well, I don't really have that much but, if you need it that bad, you'll be in my prayers. Homer: Go suck a bible. Orphan: I tried to write, but I didn't know what state you lived in. Lisa: It's a bit of a mystery, yes. But if you look at the clues, you can figure it out.
:tense music plays: Lisa: We're supposed to bring the ransom money to the top of the mountain. Marge: The tension is killing me! Bart: How bout this :flicks switch to play swanky music: Marge: Hmm, that's not tense enough, It's making light of the situation. :Bart flicks switch again and tense Simpsons theme plays: Yep, that's it. Just right.
Kidnapper 1: Look at all that pink and purple. Kidnapper 2: Our money sure is gay.
Kidnapper 1: We should make these transfers in a safer place. Kidnapper 2: It was Homers idea. You say no to that face.
