Lisa: That's just a dog in a spacesuit! Bart: From the looks of it... a male dog.
Announcer: We will return to our film after these very loud messages! Bart: Hey Lis', is dad's credit card number 5784 3653 4341 0709? Lisa: You know it is. Homer: :singing to Devo's "Crack That Whip": When you have a rib of steak, you must floss it! Oh that meatloaf tasted great, you must floss it! Floss it! Floss it good! Milhouse: I didn't know your dad was so interested in science! Homer: Science!? Bart: Uuh, he didn't say science, he said.. pie-pants. Homer: Mmmm... Pie pants. Milhouse: My eyebrows! My beautiful eyebrows! Bart: Over 'ere, guvnah! Homer: The word 'unblowuppable' is thrown around a lot these days. But I think I can say with confidence that :explosion heard: Okay.. that shows you what could potentially happen. Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done! Homer: You say that so much it's lost all meaning. Kearney: Fixing this church should be our top priority. And I say that as a teenager and a parent of a teenager. Woman: Reverend, how would you feel about wearing this robe? Lovejoy: Conflicted? Burns: Too bad! You've already signed the deal! Woman: Actually he hasn't. Burns: Oh well we highly value your input... until you sign the deal! Woman: Let me handle this, Monty. Burns: Good idea! I'll be hiding behind that tree. Lisa: What are they doing to the church!? Woman: We're rebranding it. We prefer a faith based emporium teeming with impulse buy items. Lisa: I feel like I want to throw up! Woman: Then my work is done. Lovejoy: And now let us rise and... um... ummm... Woman: He's not gonna say it! Burns: Trust me he'll say it or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers. Lovejoy: ..and thank Crazy Larry, whose big screen TV prices are insane- ane-ane! Lisa: I'm leaving this church forever! Marge: Oh no! Homer: I don't know how to feel! Marge: You should be very upset! Homer: Got it! :cries loudly: how was that? Marge: A little much! Homer: :sobs gently: Lisa: Lord, I'm not turning my back on you. I just need to find a temple that's free of corruption. Marge: :pretending to be god: Why do you have to be soooooo different? Always making a big deal out of evvvvvverything! ooooOooooooh! Lisa: Mom! I know it's you! Carl: If I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys, all the time. Lenny: Who's Buddah? Richard Gere: It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire because I've got the desire to kick your ass! Richard Gere: We all have dreams. Mine is of a free Tibet. Lisa: That would be so great. Lenny: I dream about meatball sandwiches. All you can eat for two bucks! Richard Gere: Good luck. Carl: Hey Richard. In "An Officer And A Gentleman", did you really do all those sit-ups? Richard Gere: I wish. I did one and they just showed it a thousand times. Lisa: :shouting: I'm a Buddhist! Hey I'm a Buddhist! Ned: My satan-sense is tingling! Into the root cellar boys! Todd: When can we come out? Ned: Maybe never! Rod/Todd: Yaaaay! Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon! Bart: Yes father. Lisa: Mom, dad, my spiritual quest is over! Homer: Hold that thought... Bacon up that sausage, boy! Bart: But dad, my heart hurts! Nelson: Hey Simpson, I hear your sister dumped Christianity! Bart: Who cares? Dolph: I'll tell you someone who cares. He's got long hair, works as a carpenter, has a lot of crazy ideas about love and brotherhood! Jimbo: His name's Gunther and he's dating my mom. Sometimes he buys us beer. Bart: I thought Kearney was dating your mom. Kearney: Hey, she came on to me. Burns: So the good news is that church revenue is up one thousand and seventy three percent! Lovejoy: And when will the church see any of this money? Burns: :loudly: When hell freezes over, suckers! :laughs evilly: Oh whatever, just take it! Lisa: Well they do.. smell good! Marge: Mmm, it's a pity! :throws cookies in the bin: Bart: Alright! Trash cookies! Uh oh! I think I ate a dog food lid. Lisa: My family tried to trick me into celebrating Christmas! Richard Gere: Y'know, we are meditating. Lisa: Oh, sorry. Richard Gere: No that's alright. I was only about to achieve enlightenment. But who'd want that? Lenny: Who likes short shorts? Carl: I like short shorts.
Lisa: I can really celebrate Christmas? Richard Gere: You can celebrate any holiday! And you know, my birthday is August 31st! Lisa: Oh! I'll send you an email greeting card. Richard Gere: Sweet.
Homer: I did it, I found our dog! Now our Christmas is complete! Marge: We were looking for Lisa!
Lisa: Hey where's my pony? Marge: Yes! Merry Christmas to us all! Lisa: I'm serious, make with the pony! Marge: And a happy and healthy new year! Lisa: Here Clip Clop, here pony pony! Marge: Happy happy new year!
