Homer: [sings a song on the radio] Bart: Oh! Lets never miss the school bus again...
Wiggum: Hey Cora. I heard science is working on a donut that actually burns off calories. Uh.. how's that going? Cora: What? Wiggum: Ah never mind. Just refill this with jelly, will ya? Thanks, you're an angel. Cora: What? Bart: You there! Put your hands up! Ned: Me? Okay... Bart: Now, drop your pants! Ned: But my hands are up! Bart: Hula out of them! Ned: Alright officer... Wiggum: Hey, somebody's stealling my car! Cora: What? Wiggum: Alright you two are under arrest for joyriding. You have the right to remain um... silent? That doesn't sound right... Homer: I love our court days. Marge: It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore. Judge: Grand theft auto!? Bart: It was an accident, ma'am! Judge: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting! Homer: :angry: What did she say about cupcakes? Homer: Um, your honour, I was chassing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol. Judge: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars? Homer: And a blue oyster medallion... cooool. Police Woman: There we go. How's that? Homer: It's a little tight! Police Woman: Sir, you are not a size four. Homer: I used to be! :cries: Lisa: Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our new mailman. Bill Clinton: Dang magazines! Marge: Make sure your father takes his mood medication! Homer: I'll medicate you! :gulp: Ho-ney! Edna: Alright, now who can pick up the predicate in this sentence. Homer: :screams in sleep: Edna: What's wrong with him now, Bart? Bart: Night terrors, ma'am. Homer: Ah! Cobras! Homer: Okay son. Concentrate! Shut out everything but the sound of my criticism. Homer: That's my boy! C'mon hug me! :drops to floor and falls asleep: Ah! Cobras! Cobras! Aaah! Homer: Say, is that our house!? Bart: I don't think our house has a steeple. Homer: Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes. Homer: Really!? You like skateboards!? Bart: Mmmhmm. Homer: We're sure learning a lot about each other. Homer: Hey! Knock it off! These pants cost six hundred dollars! Moe: Really? Homer: Yeah, they're Italian... Moe: Alright :pulls out shotgun: Hand em over! Homer: Moe.. what the? Moe: Yeah, I rob now. Marge: Well, you can tell she's never had kids. Look how high and firm her breasts are! Lisa: He might even make the honour role. If dad can control his night terrors. Homer: Well, that's a pretty big if, honey. Bart: Come on dad, I've gotta go to the bathroom. Homer: Oh I just got comfortable, use the bottle. Marge: No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do! Bart: Come on, Homer! Homer: No! Bart: Mom! Marge: Uh, geez, Homer take him to the bathroom! Homer: Fine, I don't even know why we have a bottle... Somebody tell me! Marge: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we are not bad parents! And there isn't a tether in this world with enough fibre-optics that can tell me we are! Judge: Hmmm... Marge: She is such a butthole! Lisa: Do you think its fair that you keep getting into trouble but mom and dad are being punished? Bart: No, it's terrible. Lisa: Well why don't you do something about it? Bart: After wrestling. Lisa: When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions? Bart: Cuz I felt like it! Lisa: You're not even listening! Bart: I know you are, but what am I? Wiggum: Today the Judge wants you to bend over so people can spank you from their cars. Ooh, here comes a car. Sea Captain: Yarr! Ya scurvey dogs! Comic Book Guy: Worst parents ever! Nelson: Haha! Wiggum: Hey! No extension cords! Homer: You're right. It's time to stand up to that firm breasted judge.
Homer: Hey Marge! Surf's up!
Wiggum: Those two lone shoremen found love.
Judge: That quilt was made by my grandmother! Homer: So... it.. cost you nothing. Judge: :furious: Shut.. up!
Bart: Judge, may I say something? Judge: Well, it is highly unorthadox. So no! Bart: Please, your honour? Judge: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me. When I was a little boy!
Lisa: :crying/proud: That's my brother Snake: Um.. did she say she used to be a dude?
Marge: Alright, we got lucky that time. But I want everybody in this family to raise your hand and promise not to break the law for one full year! Family: We promise!
:Homer breaks suddenly to avoid going through a red light: Homer: Phew that was close. Hans Moleman: Please.. drive.. off me.
