Marge: Putting away groceries, it's like unwrapping presents from yourself.
Marge: Spill something else! Lisa: Mom, I believe you! Marge: Spill it! Oh Burley, you're insatiable! Marge: Oh Burley, you're so rugged and manly! Homer: Marge, a bee almost stung me today I felt the wing go right by my ear. Marge: Oh, it's okay Homey. The bee is all gone! Burley: Fantasize Marge. Fantasize about Burley! Homer: Hey, you're looking at that spokesjack! Well I can fantasize too! Ooh Mama Celeste! Celeste: You touch me and I cut you! Paul Newman: Homer, I'll tell you what I told redford. It aint gonna happen. Homer: Hello, this is Chad Sexington, the model for Burley paper towels. Marge: :gasp: How did you get my number!? Homer: I.. don't know. But I was quite moved by your letter. Ned Flanders: Playing a prankeroo, hey? Homer: I was having a private conversation with my wife in the guise of Chad Sexington. Do you mind? Lisa: Now you've done it, you really humiliated mom! Homer: It was hard on me too! I had to wear a suit! Marge: I guess it was a pretty funny prank! I like the ones where nothing catches on fire. Homer: Yeah. Nothing is hurt except feelings. Frink: Oh dear, I've re-dorkulated! Homer: I am in your power, boss me around. Hypnotist: When I snap my fingers, you will transform into a famous historian! :snap: Homer: Look at me, I'm a famous historian. Out of my way! Hypnotist: Thankyou, now you are Emily Dickinson. :snap: Homer: Look at me, I'm Angie Dickinson! Out of my way! Hypnotist: :snap: Homer: I'm twelve years old! I'm with my friends! It's a beautiful summer day at the old swimming hole. :starts screaming and continues to do so for 36 seconds: Homer: :still screaming: Marge: Oh no! Carl: Sorry Mrs S, he kinda disrupted things at work! Lenny: Yeah he ruined naptime and quiet time. Marge: Well, is anything coming back to you? Homer: There have been so many classic Simpsons moments. I remember the time I tried to jump Springfield Gorge
.. Homer: I'm gonna make it!
.. Lisa: No, dad! Everyone's sick of that memory!
Carl: Moe, what are you doing here? Moe: What am I? My bar is empty is what. Why aint you guys there?
Moe: Ah. Look at all them stars. Bunch of lazy lights, don't do nothing for nobody.
Carl: Hey you know what I'm looking forward to? The future. Have you heard about this inter-net thing? Lenny: Internet? Carl: Yeah it's the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.
Carl: Could you imagine us working there? The whole Carl Crew!? Lenny: Hey I thought we were called Lenny And The Jets? Moe: Ah you're both wrong. We're the Moe Syzlac Experience featuring Homer.
Lenny: Only a moron would jump into tha.. Homer: Geronimooooooooooooooooh my god! :lands in mud, cries:
.. Moe: And there's your watchamacall repressed trauma. I mean, who likes getting muddy. It's terrible. Okay, lets go to Moe's now.
Homer: Wait a minute! I remember falling in the mud, but I don't think that's why I've been screaming. Moe: Fine, crap all over my theory.
Bart: This sounds like a case that only the Simpson family can solve! Moe: Oh.. Okay uh...we'll just be going then. Homer: Hey, you guys can come with us... Moe: No, no. You said Simpson family, you know, it sounded exciting but ah.. we don't want to intrude. Marge: Thanks for understanding. Moe: Oh... Oh okay. Well uh.... cya.
Homer: Yep, the old quarry is just a stone's throw away! Lisa: Stop saying that, dad! Homer: Never!
Marge: Maybe we should come back in the daytime! Homer: Someone's yellow belly is showing! Bart: Oh, sorry.
Wiggum: I saw your car by the gate and I thought you might be lost hikers. Cuz then I could rescue you, and be a hero, and maybe the city would give me a coupon for free guitar lessons. Wiggum: Aw heck, it's just an old shopping cart. Homer: And it's empty. Put it back. I don't want to see it this way!
Homer: Now do you believe dead rats float, Lisa? Lisa: Yes!
Burns: What are you doing in my corpse hatch! Wiggum: Montgomery Burns, you're under arrest for murder. Burns: Did I say corpse hatch? I meant.. innocence tube!
Burns: So. You're a baby, huh? How's that working out for you?
Burns: Look at your heroic daddy in there. Making funny faces, falling to the floor, shedding his hair...lying.. perfectly..still. Oh dear.
Smithers: Well I'm glad to know he died a hero, instead of that other way. Burns: I told him his father was killed in the Amazon by a tribe of savage women. I hope it didn't affect you in any way. Smithers: We'll never know, sir.
Moe: Hey, hey. I found a clue that's going to bust your mystery wide open! Marge: Sorry we already solved it! Moe: Ah.. well.. you wanna take a look at it anyways? Just for ha-ha's? Homer: Seems kinda pointless now. Moe: Yeah I guess you're right. It's just that I went to a lot of trouble, you know, making the envelope and everything. Marge: Mm. Let's see what you have, Moe.
Moe: Okay, now this first thing is just going to look like a used bandaid, and it is, but the rest of the stuff don't make no sense without it, so you know, bear with me. Marge: Wow Moe, you've been doing a lot of sluething! Moe: Oh yeah, oh yeah I sluethed my ass off on this one. Um, okay, this is a number 6 from somebody's address. Or.. is it a 9? You don't know! Ah, this is gravel, okay? Gravel. This is uuh... that's more gravel. Okay, oh, this is a shell. That.. to me, this is just me talking. It looks like a helmet for a mouse. Now, that sounds crazy, right? But, if you ask the mice about it they don't say nuttin'. I mean, they run the other way. At first I was just fishing with the helmet thing, but then from the mouse... reaction I got, I.. got a little more.. concerned. Homer: You really made that envelope? Cuz it says Hemermille over here. Moe: Um.... no.
