Lisa: Where's Bart? His Mountain Dew is getting flat. Marge: That's odd! He's outside digging! Homer: Probably digging for drugs.. Marge: There's no drugs out there.. Homer: No of.. course not.
Lisa: What are you doing? Bart: Digging.. Lisa: Why? Bart: To make a hole. Lisa: A hole for what? Bart: More digging.. Homer: Oh! Hello young man. Beautiful day for digging, isn't it? Bart: Yep. Homer: Yeah uh... digging for anything in particular? Bart: Nuh uh.. Homer: So I guess you wouldn't mind if I was to dig a hole of my own? Bart: Go for it. Homer: Maybe I will. Bart: What's stopping you? Homer: Very little. Moe: That is the stupidest story I've ever heard, and I've read the entire Sweet Valley High series. Homer: Geez Moe, you've been a real crank lately. Moe: :aims gun at Homer: You take that back! Homer: You're always pointing that shotgun at us. Lenny: And calling us dumbasses. Carl: Which we are so not. Carl: Gee uh, when you talk about that school your voice fills with uuh.. what do you call it, human feeling. Lenny: Yeah maybe you should um.. what's the expression? Go back there! Moe: What's the word I'm searching for uummm... Yeah! Homer: Mmyellow! Bart: Uh, yeah I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger, first name Ollie. Homer: Oh Bart! My first prank call, what do I do? Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger. Homer: I don't get it. Bart: Yell out O'll-Eat-A-Booger. Homer: What's the gag? Professor: Describe your tavern in one word. Moe: Uuhh, is crap hole one word? Professor: Yes, if it's hyphenated. Moe: Then I'll stick with crap-hole. Professor: I'm dying Moe. Moe: Is there anything I can do? Professor: No. Unless you have a cure for cancer. Do you.. have a cure for cancer? Because that would be great! Moe: I'm sorry professor. Professor: Goodbye Moe Moe: Bye professor... Moe: Hey, don't you wanna take your shoes off before you go swimming? Professor? :realizing professor is killing himself: Uh.. oh... um.... hmm. Formico: I am Formico, the Dean of design. Homer: Hi Formico! Formico: Uh uh uh, my name must never be spoken. Homer: Sorry. :to Moe: He seems nice! Cecil: Oi oi! Is your name on the list? Homer: Don't you know who I am? Moe: It's okay Cecil. They're V.I.P's Homer: Cecil is a girl's name. Russian Woman: After Chernobyl, my penis is falling off. Moe: And "penis" is Russian for? Russian Woman: All this yelling is taking away my horny. Lisa: This is pretty far to go just to spite Moe! Homer: It's not about spite! It's about petty revenge, and getting back at that traitor Moe! Song: I wont drink at Moe's. Homer's old garage is all I need. I wont drink at Moe's, cuz he's a big jerk and a she-male too. Lisa: Can we go to bed now? Homer: As soon as you finish cutting up those Lemon's. Lisa: But you're not even using them! Homer: She's so sweepy, she doesn't know what she's saying. Heehee. Homer: :singing It's The End Of The World As We Know It: Leonoid whatsis name. Herman Munster Motorcade. Birthday party Cheetos. Pogo sticks and Lemonade. You symbiotic stupid jerk, that's right Flanders, I am talking about you! Lenny: How'd you get REM to play in your garage? Homer: I told them it was a benefit. They think they're saving the rainforest! Peter: Michael, no! Mike: That's not the REM way. Michael: You're right. Lets recycle those shards and get out of here. Moe: Listen, I don't like you and you don't like me. But we both wanna stop Homer from shooting the turkey. Lisa: You don't like me? I like you! Moe: You do? Then I like you too! Here have a towelette. Moe: You wanna signal me, use this bird call :whistles, a bird attacks his face: Ow ow! Not the face! :bird moves to his crotch: Ooh! Okay the face! Oh that actually feels good after the crotch! Homer: A cougar! Die cougar! :shoots: Moe: Ow! My leg! Ow... geez! Homer: Got that cat right in the leg. Lisa: And we should all be thankful to Michael, Peter and Mike for supplying this beautiful turkey.. made entirely out of tofu. Bart: I'm thankful I ate before I came. Michael: Oh come on Bart. Smell those curds. Mmmm.. curds!
