Marge: These swedish furniture designers sure have some far out ideas. I mean a green table. I wouldn't have thought of that in my wildest dreams.
Marge: Say, what you got there? Apu: I don't know exactly. It's from the room of lamps that do not look like lamps. Manjula: Oh, little Maggie, aren't you cute with your little bow. :does baby-talk: Marge: Maggie loves baby talk. Manjula: That was Hindi. Homer: Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the internet and all. Apu: Well, perhaps it is time. I have noticed that this country is dangerously underpopulated. Manjula: Oh Apu! Take me now! Apu: Oh Calcutta! Homer: Look, just give me some ice cream. Um, how about one not touching your ass? Apu: :reading script: Gee, Betsy, it's such a nice night. Why don't we go all the way? Manjula: :reading script: But Greg, my Dad will kill me! And, you have that scholarship to Ivy League State. Apu: Loosen up, baby. Tomorrow, I'm shipping off to Vietnam. :stops reading: I, I thought I was going to Ivy League State. Homer: My mistake, stay in the moment. Manjula: Just don't forget me on your dinosaur bone-digging-up trip. Homer: And that's my cue to exit. Homer: Man, the last nine months sure were crazy. Bart: I'll say. I learned the true meaning of Columbus Day. Marge: I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint as Sideshow Marge. Lisa: I became the most popular girl in school, but blew it by being conceited. Bart: And then I learned the true meaning of winter. Apu: Clean-up in Aisle 3! Gil: Aw, finally. Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy! Ow! My back! Manjula: When we were having trouble conceiving, I took fertility drugs. Apu: Ooh, I too am afraid I'm guilty of monkeying with nature. I slipped fertility drugs into your breakfast Squishee. Hibbert: Mmm-hmm. Well, that would only account for quintuplets. Did anyone else slip this woman fertility drugs?
[Homer, Marge, and Bart raise their hands] Homer: Mine tasted like strawberries. Mmmm, ovulicious. Reporter: Would you say you and your babies have a love-'eight (hate) relationship? Apu: Aha. Absolutely, yes. Reporter: No! Say it! We need a sound byte! Apu: :annoyed: We have a love-eight relationship! Bart: Gee, sorry for being born! Homer: I've been waiting so long to hear that! Reporter: I'm here at Shelbyville Hospital, where a local woman has just given birth to nine - that's right - nine babies. Husband: Some say eight babies is a blessing, but they don't know joy of nine. Reporter 2: Would you say you're on cloud nine? Husband/Wife: We're on cloud nine! Apu: Oh, they even have a better sound byte than us. Apu: Oh, I just had the most beautiful dream where I died. Manjula: Oh, no, you don't. Not 'till they're out of college. Apu: Listen, I'll die when I want to.
Ned: Yeah, they can be a handful -- of joy. Apu: Shut up! Ned: They'll fill your lives with.. Apu: Just shut up! Ned: Can't put a price on a miracle! Apu: I can't believe you don't shut up!
Marge: I knew you had your hands full with the babies, so I baked you some banana bread. Apu: :sarcastic: Oh hallelujah, our problems are solved. We have banana bread. Marge: Well, you don't have to be sarcastic.
Marge: Maybe you two should get a nanny. Apu: Yes, and what would I pay her with? Banana bread? Sorry, sorry, it's just that we haven't slept in days, and we're running out of money and ... banana bread? What the hell were you thinking? Banana bread. Apologize, apologize again. As a token of forgiveness, please take this baby. Homer: No, Marge, no!
Mr. Kidkill: Mr. Nahasa...pasa... oh forget it, listen, you look like you could use some help. Come with me. Apu: Okay
Apu: The zoo? Mr. Kidkill: What? Everybody loves my zoo. You don't love my zoo? I dare you to look at a kangaroo and not laugh, I dare you....... :silence: Well they're usually funnier.
Homer: Release the mongoose!
:mongoose jumps on Homer's head and bites him, Homer is screaming in pain shows closing credits appear:
Stupid mongoose! Get the snakes! The snakes! Do I
look like a snake? Ow! Ow! Why isn't he listening
to me? Ow! Ohhh. Show's over! Show's over! Next
show at eight o'clock and ten!
