The Legitimate Businessman's Social ClubCrime Footage

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Legs: I'm seeing double here.. four Krusty's!


Fat Tony: How do you know you don't like bribes if you've never taken one? Here.
Rex Banner: Hey.. this is nice -- NO! No bribes!
Fat Tony: Okay, you win. From now on we'll stick to smuggling heroine.
Rex Banner: See that you do!


Fat Tony: Can the courtesy.


Bart: Are you guys crooks?
Fat Tony: Bart.. uhm. Is it it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
Bart: No..
Fat Tony: Well suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Nuh-uh
Fat Tony: And what if your family don't like bread. They like.. cigarettes.
Bart: I guess that's okay.
Fat Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away.. you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Bart: Hell no!


Fat Tony: Forgive me, Don Bartholomew


Fat Tony: You didn't see nothing.
Eddie: Heh, I don't know why people are always badmouthing the Mafia.


Secretary: Some large ment to see you sir.
Skinner: I don't have an appointment with any large men!
Fat Tony: You Skinner?
Skinner: I'm principal skinner, yes! And how, may I ask, did you get past the hall monitor?


Wiggum: Nobody move! You're all under arrest for the murder of Seymour Skinner!
Fat Tony: What's a murder?
Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me.


Fat Tony: Okay.


Homer: But wait! You can't kill me for being Krusty! I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson.
Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
Homer: Uh, actually my name is Barney Yea! Barney Gumble.
Legs: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?
Homer: Uh, actually my REAL name is uh.. think, Krusty, think! Joe Valachi!
Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime?
Homer: Benedict Arnold!
Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?
Homer: D'oh!


Fat Tony: It is time for us to take you.. for a RIDE.
Krusty: Oh.. no- uh, mind if I go to the bathroom first?
Fat Tony: I see no harm in that.
sound of krusty escaping from bathroom; car screeching away
Legs: When he's done in there, I gotta go.


Louie: Kids have a lot of money these days. So after you finnish your performance, you might consider robbing them.


Fat Tony: C'mere yah little squirt.


Fat Tony: Ehhhh.. wait a minute.


Fat Tony: Chief Wiggum.. you honor us with your presense.
Wiggum: Baloney! I'm not gonna rest until one of us is behind bars... you! You wouldn't happen to know anything about a cigarette truck that got hijacked on route 401?
Fat Tony: What's a truck?
Wiggum: Don't play dumb with me!
Fat Tony: Relax Chief, you seem tense. You know the boy here makes an excellent Manhatten.
Wiggum: sip .. yea. I'm still gonna put you away, y'know.
Fat Tony: Good for you.


Bart predicts a dog race


Fat Tony: Okay, you win.


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