CABF22: The Parent Rap
SEASON THIRTEEN :: 31 Quotes
Homer: [sings a song on the radio]
Bart: Oh! Lets never miss the school bus again...
Wiggum: Hey Cora. I heard science is working on a donut that actually burns off calories. Uh.. how's that going?
Wiggum: Ah never mind. Just refill this with jelly, will ya? Thanks, you're an angel.
Bart: You there! Put your hands up!
Ned: Me? Okay...
Bart: Now, drop your pants!
Ned: But my hands are up!
Bart: Hula out of them!
Ned: Alright officer...
Wiggum: Hey, somebody's stealling my car!
Wiggum: Alright you two are under arrest for joyriding. You have the right to remain um... silent? That doesn't sound right...
Homer: I love our court days.
Marge: It's about the only thing we do as a family anymore.
Judge: Grand theft auto!?
Bart: It was an accident, ma'am!
Judge: Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
Homer: :angry: What did she say about cupcakes?
Homer: Um, your honour, I was chassing the KBBL Party Penguin Prize Patrol.
Judge: You abandoned your son to win forty dollars?
Homer: And a blue oyster medallion... cooool.
Police Woman: There we go. How's that?
Homer: It's a little tight!
Police Woman: Sir, you are not a size four.
Homer: I used to be! :cries:
Lisa: Creative sentencing is common these days. That's why Bill Clinton is our new mailman.
Bill Clinton: Dang magazines!
Marge: Make sure your father takes his mood medication!
Homer: I'll medicate you! :gulp: Ho-ney!
Edna: Alright, now who can pick up the predicate in this sentence.
Homer: :screams in sleep:
Edna: What's wrong with him now, Bart?
Bart: Night terrors, ma'am.
Homer: Ah! Cobras!
Homer: Okay son. Concentrate! Shut out everything but the sound of my criticism.
Homer: That's my boy! C'mon hug me! :drops to floor and falls asleep: Ah! Cobras! Cobras! Aaah!
Homer: Say, is that our house!?
Bart: I don't think our house has a steeple.
Homer: Oh yeah. I forget things sometimes.
Homer: Really!? You like skateboards!?
Homer: We're sure learning a lot about each other.
Homer: Hey! Knock it off! These pants cost six hundred dollars!
Homer: Yeah, they're Italian...
Moe: Alright :pulls out shotgun: Hand em over!
Homer: Moe.. what the?
Moe: Yeah, I rob now.
Marge: Well, you can tell she's never had kids. Look how high and firm her breasts are!
Lisa: He might even make the honour role. If dad can control his night terrors.
Homer: Well, that's a pretty big if, honey.
Bart: Come on dad, I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Homer: Oh I just got comfortable, use the bottle.
Marge: No! I don't want you going in a bottle. That's what hobos do!
Bart: Come on, Homer!
Marge: Uh, geez, Homer take him to the bathroom!
Homer: Fine, I don't even know why we have a bottle... Somebody tell me!
Marge: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we are not bad parents! And there isn't a tether in this world with enough fibre-optics that can tell me we are!
Marge: She is such a butthole!
Lisa: Do you think its fair that you keep getting into trouble but mom and dad are being punished?
Bart: No, it's terrible.
Lisa: Well why don't you do something about it?
Bart: After wrestling.
Lisa: When are you going to start taking responsibility for your actions?
Bart: Cuz I felt like it!
Lisa: You're not even listening!
Bart: I know you are, but what am I?
Wiggum: Today the Judge wants you to bend over so people can spank you from their cars. Ooh, here comes a car.
Sea Captain: Yarr! Ya scurvey dogs!
Comic Book Guy: Worst parents ever!
Wiggum: Hey! No extension cords!
Homer: You're right. It's time to stand up to that firm breasted judge.
Homer: Hey Marge! Surf's up!
Wiggum: Those two lone shoremen found love.
Judge: That quilt was made by my grandmother!
Homer: So... it.. cost you nothing.
Judge: :furious: Shut.. up!
Bart: Judge, may I say something?
Judge: Well, it is highly unorthadox. So no!
Bart: Please, your honour?
Judge: Oh, I can't resist that look. You remind me of me. When I was a little boy!
Lisa: :crying/proud: That's my brother
Snake: Um.. did she say she used to be a dude?
Marge: Alright, we got lucky that time. But I want everybody in this family to raise your hand and promise not to break the law for one full year!
Family: We promise!
:Homer breaks suddenly to avoid going through a red light:
Homer: Phew that was close.
Hans Moleman: Please.. drive.. off me.