SEASON TWELVE :: 18 Quotes
Homer: Wait a minute.. was that cat making out with that mouse? :punches fist: Cuz if they were...
Homer: That suit gizmo could be worth billions! And I'm gonna get a piece of the action. :runs off, gets in car, drives off:
Carl: So does he still work here or what?
Homer: :doing impersonations:
[Marge] Hi Homey!
[Homer] Sign this please!
[Marge] You're the boss!
[Child] Daddy! Ask the man for some candy!
[Homer] No no, no candy for you!
[Child] Well at least get some candy for yourself!
[Homer] Hehehe... kids.
Guy: Here's your candy!
Homer: So long, sucker!
Guy: Uuh, sir, your life savings?
Homer: Uuh, yes. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent.
Guy: Ookay, now before I execute this order, are you sure you understand the risks of stock ownership?
:zooms into Homer's brain, with a bunch of people in a dance line singing 'We're in the money'. Curtains open, revealling a king-kong type creature. End of scene:
Homer: You heard the monkey, make the trade.
Lady: For automated stock prices, please state the company name.
Lady: Animotion. Up one and one half.
Lady: Yahoo! Up six and a quarter.
Homer: Huh, what is this crap?
Lady: Fox Broadcasting. Down eight.
Kent Brockman: Animotion is up an eighth... after plunging seventy five points this morning!
Homer: Oh, I hope plunging means up, and seventy five means two hundred!
Kent Brockman: The firm declared super-dooper bankruptcy, which is terrible news for the company's one stockholder, Homer Simpson.
Homer: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now lets move onto the real issue, Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup!
Lisa: Well maybe if mom didn't make such dry waffles! There, I said it!
Marge: Well maybe if you ate some meat you'd have a natural lubricant.
Barney: I've got a great way to make money. I'm a human guinea pig!
Homer: You mean like.. medical testing?
Barney: Yeah, medical, military, chewin' stuff...
Moe: Chewin stuff?
Barney: Yeal like you chew on a telephone wire till you get a shock.
Moe: Oh, all right, okay.
Homer: Yeah but aren't those experiments dangerous?
Barney: Ah, you get a few side affects.
Moe: Are those ears!?
Barney: Ah! Not so loud!
Scientist: Mr. Simpson, this could be responsible for your subnormal intelligence.
Homer: Hey, I came here to be drugged, electricuted and probed, not insulted.
Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh?
Homer: Now, who's up for a trip to the library tomorrow? Notice I no longer say liberrie or tomorrie.
Lisa: I think books have an amazing power to bring people together. Look, even Cletus is checking one out.
Cletus: :uses a book to crush a turtle:.
Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentaly proved there's no god.
Flanders: We'll just see about tha.. oh.. maybe he made a mistake? Nope... it's airtight.
Homer: Yes Nelson
Nelson: A moron says what.
Homer: Not being a moron, I wouldn't know, however :mumbles:
Homer: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron!
Lenny: So.. is that your usual coffee mug?
Lenny: Hmm.. looks a little bigger.
Carl: It's not.
Lenny: That's right braniac. You cost us our jobs, which we need for working.
Carl: Not to mention driving to.
Moe: And I was a lot happier before I knew Dame Edna was a man. A lot happier!
Marge: Sweetheart, a missing crayon could be anywhere!
Homer: :bursts through window: Who wants lottery tickets!
Marge: Okay, it's in his brain.
Lisa: Dad, how could you, we were connecting in such a meaningful way.
Homer: We were what what in the what what?
Homer: Yeah, which reminds me, I need a sandwich.