BABF20: A Tale Of Two Springfields
SEASON TWELVE :: 17 Quotes
Bart: Woah! A Badger! Sorry, man. You can't crash here. Come on, lets go. :large roars can be heard:
to santa's little helper: Well boy... looks like you've got yourself a room mate.
Bart: Come on, Lis', there's gotta be a way to lure that badger out.
Lisa: Well, according to 'whatbadgerseat.com', Badgers subsist primarily on a diet of stoats, voles, and marmots.
Bart: Hmm, stoats, stoats..
Lisa: Stoats are weasels, Bart. They don't come in cans.
Bart: Oh yeah, then what's this?
Lisa: That says corn, Bart.
Lisa: Here we are. In a pinch, Badgers have been known to eat Woodpeckers.
Bart: Perfect! Hey Todd, can we borrow your woodpecker?
Todd: I guess so! But we need him back by six. It's his birthday!
:the woodpecker avoids the badger, pecks and laughs at Bart, but then flies into a bug zapper and dies:
Homer: Television broken?
Bart: No, there's a Badger in there.
Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse... Milhouse.. Milho... :roars are heard and Homer gets his body ripped apart:
It's a Badger alright.
Homer: I think we should call a doctor about this
:Homer lifts his shirt, revealing all his internal organs on the outside:
Lisa: How did the Badger do that without ripping your shirt!?
Homer: What am I, a tailor?
Homer: Area code!? But it's a local call.
Marge: The phone company ran out of numbers, so they split the city into two area codes. Half the town keeps the old 636 area code, and our half gets 939.
Homer: 939!!!?? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!? Oh my life is ruined.
Marge: Geez, you just have to remember three extra numbers.
Homer: Oh if only it were that easy Marge.
Hi! I'm Phoney McRingRing, mascot and president of the telephone company, and I'm here to explain why the convenience of one area code in Man's Voice: -Your Town-
has been replaced by the convenience of two area codes!
Homer: Uh, I have a question, Phoney!
Lisa: It's a movie, dad!
Homer: Quiet honey, daddy's asking the man a question.
But how will I remember all those numbers? Well, scientists have discovered that even monkeys can memorize ten numbers. Are you stupider than a monkey?
Chief Wiggum: How big of a monkey?
Haha. Of course you're not!
Skinner: Go ahead and laugh, we have a better town bird!
Homer: Oh yeah!? What is it?
Skinner: The Bluebird!
Jimbo: Hey.. look what I found. A novelty flying disc!
Bart: Give it back. That's MY novelty flying disc!
Jimbo: You're in Olde Springfield now. Everything on this side of the park belongs to us!
Kearney: Hey! His pants are in our park too!
Dolph: Get him!
Bart: My homework is in your park!
Kearney: Let's do it! Yoink!
Dolph: What does freedom mean to me?
Kent Brockman: Scientists say they're also less attractive physically, and while we speak in a well-educated manner they tend to use low-brow expressions like "oh yeah?" and "come here a minute!"
Homer: Oh yeah? They think they're better than us, huh? Bart, come here a minute!
Bart: You come here a minute!
Homer: Oh yeah?
Quimby: They've got us now. Without water we're doomed!
Skinner: Waaait a minute. What's that gold covered substance in the river bed?
Dr. Hibbert: Why, that's gold! Hehehehehe
Mr. Burns: We're slightly richer!
Homer: I can't believe all those rats fled my town. Guess it's just us and the tumbleweed...
Security Guard: Can I help you?
Bart: Da-ad, the chloroform!
Homer: Huh? Oh right... I'll give you this bottle of chloroform if you take us to 'The Who'!
Security Guard: :gruff tone: Oh, so you wanna see The Who, huh? Well I'll take you to The Who! :throws them out of the corridor: Here's your who!
The Who: I thought we fired that guard!
Security Guard: Oh, yeah, right. I got fired by The Who. Whatever you say pal... whackooo.
Mr. Burns: Smithers, why did you iron a crease in these dungaries? I look like a square!
Smithers: Uuh, that crease is in your leg, sir.
Mr. Burns: Ah, so it is.... yeees.
Homer: :singing: Pac-man fever, a doo doo doo doo, it's-ah drivin' me cray-ay-ay-zehhhhh! Look Lisa! Daddy's in The Who! :continues singing, somebody throws something at him:
Homer: Well Marge, looks like your insane experiment is over.
Marge: MY experiment? You're the one that came up with this whole experimen... :Homer uses the chloriform on Marge: