AABF05: Mayored To The Mob
SEASON TEN :: 23 Quotes
Announcer:We will return to the remainder of the conclusion after these messages.
Homer: Well, I'd rather get a message than see another lousy commercial.
Advert:That's right, it's Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con! Come meet all your favorite stars. Mark Hamill, Alf, and many more!
Advert:It's the mighty robots of Battlestar Galactica, versus the gay robots of Star Wars!
C3PO: Stop! Please save me R2!
C3PO: You stupid little tramp! You're so boring! I hate you!
Publicist: People, people! This man has actually been in outer space!
Edna: Hah! Nobody cares!
Neil Armstrong: This is one small step towards firing your ass!
Comic Book Guy:Tell me, how do you feel about 45 year old virgins who still live with their parents?
Nerdy Woman: Comb the Sweetarts out of your beard and you're on!
Comic Book Guy: Don't try to change me, baby!
Lenny: Mark, Mark, Mark, pick me, my whole life has been leading to this moment!
Carl: Ah like hell it has, if anybody's gonna play Obi it's me!
Frink: All right step away you foolish amateurs, just keep back, keep out of it. The role is mine, with the acting and the groupies and the 'Luke, Like save me' with the light saber and the Vwing, Vwing, Vwiiiiing.
Willie: That's not how you Vwing! :starts punch-up:
Mayor Quimby:Yaah! Gadzooks! Where are my bodyguards!?
Ernie: Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?
Big Tom: If there is, I don't wanna know about it.
Homer: Never! Follow me! :takes Mark into spaceship only to reappear: Well how was I supposed to know it's not a real spaceship.
Lisa:Oh my god, someone has to go back in for Maggie!
Homer: Forget Maggie, she's gone!
Marge: I've got Maggie!
Homer: Well it's a... hey! I thought you twisted your ankle?!
Mark: Oh yeah.. well, see the thing about that is... :runs:
Quimby: You call yourselves bodyguards!? You're fired!
Ernie: Fired, huh? Who else you gonna find to take a bullet for ya?
Big Tom: Or have his genitals hooked up to a car battery?
Quimby: I'll tell ya who... Him!
Marge: Homer, I don't think you were listening to what he just--
Homer: I said woo-hoo!
Leavelle: As a bodyguard your only loyalty is to your protectee, not to your family, not to your country, not to Muhammed.
Homer: Even during Ramadan?
Leavelle: Shut your sass-hole boy! These melons represent your protectees. Throughout this course you will protect your personal melon as if it was paying your salary.
Homer: :eating melon: What?
Leavelle: Your job is to take the bullet, Go!.... Go, go go! POW!
Leavelle: Well, your dive wasn't bad but I just didn't believe your "NOOO!". You've gotta sell it! Remember, your "NOOO!" is what gets you your next job. Now drop and give me twenty!
Quimby: Thankyou Fat Tony. However in the future, I would prefer a non descript briefcase to the sack with a dollar sign on it.
Homer: Milking room. I hope you cows are decent... CRAP ON A CROTCH! AH! YOU'RE MILKING RATS! MILKING RAAAAATS!
Quimby: Rats? I'm outraged! You promised me dog or higher!
Homer:Kids, I don't want you drinking any more milk... ever!
Milhouse: Can I still drink it?
Homer: Go nuts.
Homer: Oh my god I killed the mayor! Alright stay calm, I'll just use the body to stage an elaborate farce, ala "Weekend At Burnies".
Quimby: Help! Help!
Homer: His corpse is climbing the building!
Wiggum:We're shutting you down, you filthy Italians.
Eddie: :mumbles, correcting Wiggum:
Wiggum: Ah, right right, filthy Italian Americans.
Fat Tony: I am not so much disappointed as I am blinded with rage.
Homer: Ooooh, the mafia guy's all mad. What are you gonna do? Call your godfather? Huh? :mocking: "Oh godfather, bleblebleh."
Homer: Bart, would you go start daddy's car?
Homer: What? There's nothing to worry about.
Bart: Well then you start it.
Homer: Alright, fine! I'll take a cab!
Quimby: I was thinking of a quiet evening at home with the ........ wife.
Homer: Oh, I get it, you're worried about those mobsters aren't you.
Quimby: No no, I truly do want to stay home with the...... wife.
Homer: Excuse me...
Homer: Do you have a table for the mayor?
Homer: Why do you walk that way?
Waiter: I had a strooooooooooke!
Fat Tony:I want the mayor dead, I want his wife dead, I want his cat and his dog dead.
Legs: Wawawait... who was before the cat?
Fat Tony: Just kill the mayor...
Legs: Y-you're not mad at me are ya?